Rob Corddry Quotes

If you have a secret, people will sit a little bit closer.

I just want to do cool stuff.

Once I found out how much an Off-Off-Broadway actor makes, I was whoring myself out the next day.

I peed in my wife's boot once. On honeymoon, in Madrid, we were drinking absinthe and somehow made it back to our hotel. I don't remember a second of this, but my wife woke up to this noise. Two of her boots were in the corner, one had fallen down and the other was standing up and I was peeing into it! It was a hole, and it looked like a toilet. She said: "Rob, wake up, you're peeing into my shoe!"

I learned more about elections on election night 2000 than I ever did during my 16 years of schooling.

I have a wife and two daughters; people who depend on me. Everything is more important than it was when I was 20. But now I'm like, "Eh, I made it this far."

I want to manufacture a feud.

I get all of my comedy from CNN.

If anything, there's more at stake when you're older, and more responsibility and more legitimate things to worry about.

Ethanol is, in its pure form, just as much of a sham as oil.

I don't like gadgets for their own sake. I like gadgets that are tools. And I like simple gadgets that do one thing really well like a hammer.

This limited theatrical release was a nice little bonus that I never expected.

The head writer loves that my character is a boor.

I didn't really feel 100 percent comfortable until we started working on the 2004 election.

If people see me in some sort of niche, then that's fine. As long as it's not "The Naked Guy." I don't care.

The show is a satire, which gives us freedom to do anything we want. Satire is the magic word that wipes away any culpability. The media is jealous of this freedom.

I have to stay true to myself.

It looks like garbage, my ass. But trust me, you're lucky it's not full-frontal.

Stand-up is a real art form in itself and one that I really think to be good at you have to devote your entire life to. It's the really, really good ones that end up getting to do the things that I like to do: movies, TV shows, and stuff like that. It's a really hard gig and it just never called to me.

I like playing really super-intense, live-in-the-moment characters. It asks me to not phone it in. It's impossible to phone it in. Every American boy has spent his childhood pretending to get shot.

If it's January, I'm dead in three hours. But in June, I'd be hungry, but I'd make it out. I'd find my way without a map or compass. I say that with confidence. I can build a fire without a match.

I don't know how this company got the name National Shakespeare Company, because it was literally like retards employing retards.

Pat OBrien knows nothing. Hes on the Hell express.

I am realizing how old I am 'cause I am meeting so many people that were born in the 80s, which is crazy to me that I was going through puberty and [they weren't] even alive.

The first year or so on The Daily Show is pretty intense in terms of travel. You're going to the worst places in the country, talking to the craziest people in the world.

I remember interviewing someone I actually felt bad for, and therefore didn't want to take an ironic stance against him. It actually turned out to be a really funny piece.

I touched an Oscar once. Friend of mine has one, for writing. As soon as I touched it, he said, Now you'll never win one.

I remember saying in college that I would never do commercials.

I've got like a week and a half left, all bets are off.

I've been an Apple guy since the mid 80's and that's when I was like, "Boy, you guys really got me here. I know exactly what you're doing, right down to your price points."

I didn't hang any pictures in my office for a year because I thought that I would be jinxing myself and have to take them down the next day.

I don't feel rivalry. I'm the least competitive person you'll meet ever, to a fault.

People want other people to know that they share our sensibility even if they're not exactly sure what that sensibility is.

As a teenager, I was very much a people pleaser and that excludes being adventuresome at all. I was a Boy Scout though and so that's as adventuresome as I got.

I was going out for absolutely everything that was in Backstage.

I actually got the part. And I thought, Well, I'll do it for a while. I'll just quit if it's stupid.

I've always defined myself as a writer, I've never decided what it was I was gonna write. [...] I always fancied myself one, but I'm not. I'm so far from a writer.

My mother was very, very Protestant. I grew up Presbyterian, and I went to church every Sunday until I was 18. I was forced to.

You're encouraged to pitch your own story. That way, you'll have more control over what you do.

I'd played a lot of best friends, and/or bad guys, which seems to be my lot in life. In romantic comedies there's always a best friend and the woman has a best friend and they always antagonise each other and then they end up together at the end of the movie.

Anything that you can do a tiny bit of research about, I'll turn it into an obsession.

I always fancied myself more of an actor than a comedian before I realized that only assholes make that kind of distinction.

Anything would deserve a sequel if the right elements are there.

It started off for me as just wanting to be an actor and sort of resenting in a weird way being expected to write as well as be a comedian and an improviser. And then you think about it for a minute, and I smartened up and realized that the only way to sustain a career is to generate your own material. Or to be in control of your career as best you can. And in allowing yourself to do that it opens up a whole new world of possibilities. And then you're like "Oh, producing is a thing."

I really think of it - acting and writing and producing, whatever - as shipping. You gotta ship. Put the widget together in the easiest, quickest way possible and ship the product.

I'm a complete egomaniac. It makes me feel terrible to say [being interviewed] is hard. It's taxing in a way. Just 'cause it's a lot of mental energy just to keep focused. I actually think it's harder for journalists.

I am a man who used to wear the tights. We traveled the country doing two Shakespeare plays for bored college students for about a year. I think I'd probably still be doing it now if I hadn't just randomly decided to go to a sketch group audition. That led to doing improv, which led to the Daily Show. But it was fun while it lasted.

For most of my life, I was a worrier and an over-thinker. I had pretty bad social anxiety.

I've always wanted to be an actor. I didn't get into this game to be the best improviser in the world. I didn't choose improv as a stepping stone, it just happened to become one.

My job was basically to look at a good friend completely naked and rub lotion on her back. I was naked too, but I got to put a towel on almost immediately. So I was like, "Well, this is going to be embarrassing, but it's also going to be kinda awesome."