Roddy Piper Quotes

I came here to chew bubble gum and kick ass. And I'm all out of bubble gum.

Just when you think you know the answers, I change the questions.

Sooner or later, everybody pays the Piper!

I'm so quick, I could spit in the wind, duck, and let it hit the old lady behind me.

You'll find sympathy in the dictionary between sh*t and suicide.

I walk so fast, I talk so fast, I could turn the light off and be in bed before the room's dark.

You don't throw rocks at a man with a machine gun!

I'm the reason Hulk Hogan lost his hair.

I don't need to know how tough I am to know how tough I am.

My friends keep telling me I'm doing it with Mary Palmer. That's not true - I'm too busy masturbating to meet anyone new.

I was pissin' Vince McMahon off when the red on the back of your neck was diaper rash!

Jerry Lawler walks in here with his crown - DA DA DUM - Imperial Margerine - and talks about what he's going to do to me. Lawler, if you think you're going to beat me, if you think you can do ANYTHING to me, than you really are the king. King of FOOLS, jack!!

Ric Flair, you once called me a woman. Well, what I want to know is, how does it feel to get beat by a woman?

My business in the beginning was very lawless and the more trouble I go into, the more the promoters liked me back then. I was on the front page for doing something wrong, the arena was full. Then, all of a sudden, everything changed somehow and they put rules in. You put rules in a gunfight? I'm not so good at following those rules. I don't' know what will happen at WrestleMania.

Ever notice Hulk Hogan ain't got no hair on his chest? The only one who's got hair on their chest on their team is Cindy Lauper.

He mighta spent a couple years under the arena training young wrestlers.

Did your parents build knows you a swing facing a wall when you were a kid?

Aww, whats the problem, gertrude? You mean to tell me that you can't walk into a bar with a $100 bill on your forehead and walk with anything, either male or female?

I think that I just wasn't brought up under any rules, and I think that made me a little different and people wanted to look up to that or aspire to that, and that makes me very grateful.

Rowdy Roddy cut his locks; but don't worry woman, he's still a fox.

Nature Boy, whats that? Do you run around the forest like Euell Gibbons, eating bark or something?

Do you know you couldn't get a date with a $20 bill taped to your forehead?

Ric Flair is out there crying, his nose is running. He's probably drowning from the size of his nose running.

Ric Flair, the Slim Whitman of Pro-Wrestling.

He's as strong as an ox...and ALMOST as smart!

Does the tounge hanging out help his balance?

Oh, here he comes now, the May West of pro-wrestling.

I never envisioned myself being a film star at all. Most people know that pro wrestling is a little bit of an accident for me. I never really had any real aspirations of being in front of a camera.

I like the fact that I can go away and lose myself so I don't have to live in the world of courage that everyone else does. I like creating, it's what I do, and acting allows me to stretch all those different muscles in all kinds of ways. That's pretty cool.

Fighting is not internal, but it can be very spiritual. Everything acting is internal. One of my problems in making the transition is pulling back, but I'm working on it.

Wrestling and acting couldn't be anymore different in terms of what it takes to entertain. Wrestling is explosion, acting is implosion. One really screws up the other.