1.
When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.
Will Rogers
When I pass away, I want to depart like my grandpa who left this world calmly in his slumber. Not yelling as if all the individuals in his vehicle.
2.
There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.
Will Rogers
'Three varieties of people exist. The first that learns from study. The select few who gain insight through observation. The remainder must face the consequences of their own actions.'
3.
Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
Will Rogers
If you're not moving forward, you will be left behind.
4.
Personally, I have always felt that the best doctor in the world is the Veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter...he's just got to know.
Will Rogers
In my opinion, the most skilled practitioner is the Veterinary Surgeon. They must be able to discern an ailment without being able to ask their patients for feedback.
5.
The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.
Will Rogers
The path to accomplishment is strewn with numerous alluring pauses.
6.
Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip.
Will Rogers
Conduct yourself in a manner that you would not be embarrassed to offer your parrot to the local rumormonger.
7.
There are men running governments who shouldn't be allowed to play with matches.
Will Rogers
Rulers administering nations who lack the aptitude to handle even the most basic tasks.
8.
The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.
Will Rogers
The hazard of whimsical pranks is that frequently they become official positions.
9.
Too many people spend money they haven't earned to buy things they don't want to impress people they don't like.
Will Rogers
Too many individuals squander resources they have not acquired to purchase items they do not desire to impress people they have no affinity for.
10.
After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him... The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.
Will Rogers
After consuming a full bovine, a cougar felt so content he commenced bellowing. He persisted until an outdoorsman arrived and discharged his rifle... The lesson: When you are full of baloney, remain silent.
11.
If you want to be successful, it's just this simple. Know what you are doing. Love what you are doing. And believe in what you are doing.
Will Rogers
If you aspire to be prosperous, it's uncomplicated. Understand what you are doing. Adore what you are doing. And have conviction in what you are doing.
12.
An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh.
Will Rogers
13.
I would love to see Mr. (Henry) Ford in there, really. I don't know who started the idea that a President must be a Politician instead of a Business man. A Politician can't run any other kind of business. So there is no reason why he can run the U.S. That's the biggest single business in the World.
Will Rogers
14.
Democrats are the only reason to vote for Republicans
Will Rogers
15.
Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
Will Rogers
16.
A man only learns by two things; one is reading and the other is association with smarter people.
Will Rogers
17.
Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don't have for something they don't need.
Will Rogers
18.
There is nothing as easy as denouncing. It don't take much to see that something is wrong, but it does take some eyesight to see what will put it right again
Will Rogers
19.
The money was all appropriated for the top in the hopes that it would trickle down to the needy. Mr. Hoover didn’t know that money trickled up. Give it to the people at the bottom and the people at the top will have it before night, anyhow. But it will at least have passed through the poor fellow’s hands.
Will Rogers
20.
Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.
Will Rogers
21.
Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else.
Will Rogers
22.
I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
Will Rogers
23.
Don't let yesterday use up too much of today.
Will Rogers
24.
If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.
Will Rogers
25.
I remember when being liberal meant being generous with your own money.
Will Rogers
26.
The taxpayers are sending congressmen on expensive trips abroad. It might be worth it except they keep coming back
Will Rogers
27.
If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep.
Will Rogers
28.
Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.
Will Rogers
29.
I know worrying works, because none of the stuff I worried about ever happened.
Will Rogers
30.
My forefathers didn't come over on the Mayflower, but they met the boat.
Will Rogers
31.
Instead of giving money to found colleges to promote learning, why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as good as the Prohibition one did, why, in five years we would have the smartest race of people on earth.
Will Rogers
32.
A fool and his money are soon elected.
Will Rogers
33.
Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate, now what's going to happen to us with both a House and a Senate?
Will Rogers
34.
Make crime pay. Become a lawyer.
Will Rogers
35.
The more you read and observe about this Politics thing, the more you've got to admit that each party is worse than the other.
Will Rogers
36.
You know horses are smarter than people. You never heard of a horse going broke betting on people.
Will Rogers
37.
A vision, without a plan, is just a hallucination.
Will Rogers
38.
You've got to be (an) optimist to be a Democrat, and you've got to be a humorist to stay one
Will Rogers
39.
When you give a lesson in meanness to a critter or a person, don't be surprised if they learn their lesson.
Will Rogers
40.
Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.
Will Rogers
41.
When you find yourself in a hole, quit digging.
Will Rogers
42.
The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets.
Will Rogers
43.
We will never have true civilization until we have learned to recognize the rights of others.
Will Rogers
44.
This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer.
Will Rogers
45.
The short memories of the American voters is what keeps our politicians in office.
Will Rogers
46.
What the country needs is dirtier fingernails and cleaner minds.
Will Rogers
47.
There ain't nothing that breaks up homes, country and nations like somebody publishing their memoirs
Will Rogers
48.
I was born on Nov. 4, which is election day ... my birthday has made more men and sent more back to honest work than any other days in the year.
Will Rogers
49.
Shrewdness in public life all over the world is always honored, while honesty in public men is generally attributed to dumbness and is seldom rewarded.
Will Rogers
50.
Now they got such a high inheritance tax on 'em that you won't catch these old rich boys dying promiscuously like they did. This bill makes patriots out of everybody. You sure do die for your country if you die from now on.
Will Rogers
