Amy Dickinson Quotes

Unsolicited advice is always self-serving.

People don't change when they don't acknowledge their actions.

Climb aboard life's elevator, hit the "up" button, and see where it takes you.

Sometimes the way through someone's tough outer shell is to do something obvious, thoughtful and sweet.

This is a tough situation. But it is what it is, and time has an amazing way of knitting together solutions as long as everybody stays calm and resolves to be as gentle and patient as possible.

Ask 10 people about their family relationships and at least five of them will report an estrangement.

Your job in life is to look after yourself and to find ways to get what you need - emotionally and otherwise - so that you live your best possible life, without being mired in anger and hurt over the past.

Bullies never want to acknowledge their own actions. They want to move through life without reflection or apology.

One downside of being an optimist is that optimistic people tend to forget yesterday's trauma in the belief that everything will turn out well. This can keep people in bad relationships because they genuinely believe that things will always improve.

When the choice is between a demanding relationship and a vintage pickup truck, I'll choose the truck every time.

When you are criticizing someone, you should speak only to your own experience - not others'.

Bullies often act out by marshaling aggression to cover up for insecurity.

[from a reader] I hope she learns to look for the joy in life instead of picking out negatives - it will change her life for the better.

Healthy boundaries are important, but you may be building a brick wall when a picket fence would do.

In the name of friendship you should make sure your door is always open to listen. Don't feel you need to provide unsolicited possible solutions, answers or even ideas. Listening without judgment and offering assistance when asked should be enough. That's friendship's high calling.

Do not make your current partner pay for the crimes and misdemeanors of your previous partners.

All promises are empty - until they are fulfilled.

"Don't be stupid!" is excellent advice.

There is nothing more painful than being rejected simply for being who you are.

Almost any group of three is going to form a triangle, with two points closer to one another.

As an advice columnist, I spend a lot of time reading through psychology journals to ensure that I give the most up-to-date advice.

Life is easier when you are comfortable in your own skin.

Weddings and funerals are when you figure out who your real friends are.

The fullness of life is incubated in its messy places.

Being alone is almost always preferable to being with the wrong person.

Marriage is an intimate relationship between two people. It is a bad idea to involve a third party.

Individuals who are uncomfortable with themselves sometimes emit vibes that make others uncomfortable.

If you've got a good book with you, you're never bored (or alone).

Sometimes toxic people are so resistant to change that therapy does not really help them - but they send everybody else into therapy to find ways to cope.

[from a reader] Whenever I feel myself resenting someone, I reach out. I have made good friends that way.

You should not propose marriage until you have resolved your feelings about your ex.

Single parenthood is hard, but it's simple too. You just do everything yourself.

Absence really can make the heart grow fonder, even when the [man's] feet wander.

Mature people must find their own ways to cope with their own temptations.

People who are combative in one relationship tend to be combative in other relationships.

Being inclusive sometimes means being kind toward people whose views are repugnant. But you should only do so if it is physically and emotionally safe for you.

Perspective is the enemy of long-lost love.

In life, you don't get instant satisfaction. In life, you get to slog. You work. You grow. You take the long view. You fill the void with self-actualization.

Have you ever noticed how bored people are also boring?

Groveling for connection from someone who compares you to Hitler is not good for a person's self-esteem.

Couples who have been together for a long time say the key to staying together is to work as a team toward the greater good, tolerating some tough (even tragic) times to grow together and work toward a mature kind of union.

He sounds like someone who might best be loved from a distance.

A threat is a promise followed by a consequence.

If you turn the heat down on the relationship, she will soften, the tension will lessen, and she will eventually inch closer to you. Don't go in for the hug until you achieve a handshake.

Not every relationship can be altered to fit.

Needy and boring parents tend to have needy and bored children.

One of the benefits of being divorced is that you no longer need to listen to your ex's assessment of the appropriateness of your actions.

One of the privileges of adulthood is that your parents don't get to tell you what to do.

One person gets to decide if something is a problem in a relationship.

If you feel guilty about not "playing nice," then you could easily alleviate your guilt by playing nice.