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Beer Quotes

1.
Hops are a wicked and pernicious weed.
Henry VIII of England

'Hops are an insidious and deleterious weed.'
Authors on Beer Quotes: Dave Barry Michael Jackson Gilbert K. Chesterton Benjamin Franklin W. C. Fields Ralph Waldo Emerson Charles Bukowski William Shakespeare Mark Twain Homer Hunter S. Thompson Charles Dickens Martin Luther A. E. Housman Ernest Hemingway Edward Abbey Alan D. Eames David Letterman Raymond Chandler Sherrilyn Kenyon Billy Carter Kenny Chesney Terry Pratchett Charles Stuart Calverley Jeff Foxworthy Woody Allen J.R. Ward Jimmy Buffett Matt Groening Bill Bryson Brendan Behan Stephen King Stephen Beaumont
2.
Does anybody have, a cold beer for Steve Austin?!??!!?
Stone Cold Steve Austin

Does anybody have, a refreshing beverage for Steve Austin?!??!!?
3.
Give my people plenty of beer, good beer, and cheap beer, and you will have no revolution among them.
Queen Victoria

Provide my people with an abundance of ale, quality ale, and affordable ale, and there will be no uprising among them.
4.
The whole world is drunk and we're just the cocktail of the moment. Someday soon, the world will wake up, down two aspirin with a glass of tomato juice, and wonder what the hell all the fuss was about.
Dean Martin

5.
The greatest minds are capable of the greatest vices as well as of the greatest virtues.
Rene Descartes

The wisest intellects are equally apt to commit the most heinous wrongdoings as they are proficient in exhibiting the highest morals.
6.
The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
Humphrey Bogart

The issue with the world is that everyone is a step or two short of sobriety.
7.
I'm not God but if I were God, ¾ of you would be girls, and the rest would be pizza and beer.
Axl Rose

'If I had divine powers, ¾ of the population would be female, while the remainder would consist of pizza and beer.'
8.
A good local pub has much in common with a church, except that a pub is warmer, and there's more conversation.
William Blake

A respectable neighborhood tavern has many parallels to a sanctuary, aside from the fact that a tavern is more inviting and there's livelier discourse.
9.
I don't think I've ever stepped into a gym - they won't let me smoke there. I just thank God Miller Lite isn't as fattening as most beers. If I cut back on beer, though, I'd look anorexic.
John Daly

I have never ventured into a gym - it's antithetical to my smoking habit. I'm grateful that Miller Lite isn't as caloric as other brews. Nonetheless, if I decreased my beer consumption, I'd become too thin.
10.
You will not be able to stay home, brother./You will not be able to plug in, turn on and cop out./You will not be able to lose yourself on skag and skip,/Skip out for beer during commercials,/Because the revolution will not be televised.
Gil Scott-Heron

11.
I was never able to have three of four beers. One's too many, and ten just ain't enough. Basically it's the way I've been since high school.
John Daly

'I've never had the capacity for more than a single alcoholic beverage. One is too much, yet ten isn't enough - this has been my demeanor since secondary school.'
12.
Whenever the devil harasses you, seek the company of men or drink more, or joke and talk nonsense, or do some other merry thing. Sometimes we must drink more, sport, recreate ourselves, and even sin a little to spite the devil, so that we leave him no place for troubling our consciences with trifles. We are conquered if we try too conscientiously not to sin at all. So when the devil says to you: do not drink, answer him: I will drink, and right freely, just because you tell me not to.
Martin Luther

13.
Bad men live that they may eat and drink, whereas good men eat and drink that they may live.
Socrates

'Those of ill intent exist to satisfy their physical needs, whereas the righteous consume for the purpose of living life.'
14.
We should look for someone to eat and drink with before looking for something to eat and drink.
Epicurus

We should seek company before sustenance.
15.
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
George Carlin

16.
An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
Ernest Hemingway

17.
I'd rather have a free bottle in front of me than a prefrontal lobotomy.
Tom Waits

18.
My rule of life prescribed as an absolutely sacred rite smoking cigars and also the drinking of alcohol before, after and if need be during all meals and in the intervals between them.
Winston Churchill

19.
A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says "You've been brought here for drinking." The drunk says "Okay, let's get started.
Henny Youngman

20.
I am not an Athenian or a Greek, but a citizen of the world.
Diogenes

21.
I once shook hands with Pat Boone, and my whole right side sobered up!
Dean Martin

22.
Men are nicotine soaked, beer besmirched, whiskey greased, red-eyed devils.
Carrie Nation

23.
An oppressive government is more to be feared than a tiger.
Confucius

24.
I'm only a beer teetotaler, not a champagne teetotaler; I don't like beer.
George Bernard Shaw

25.
Classical quotation is the parole of literary men all over the world.
Samuel Johnson

26.
All my life I just wanted to be a beatnik. Meet all the heavies, get stoned, get laid, have a good time. That's all I ever wanted. Except I knew I had a good voice and I could always get a couple of beers off of it. All of a sudden someone threw me in this rock 'n' roll band. They threw these musicians at me, man, and the sound was coming from behind. The bass was charging me. And I decided then and there that that was it. I never wanted to do anything else. It was better than it had been with any man, you know. Maybe that's the trouble.
Janis Joplin

27.
Beer is the Danish national drink, and the Danish national weakness is another beer.
Clementine Paddleford

28.
When Richie Cunningham drank too many beers, his parents sat him down and explained their concerns. If you live on this earth, you find out that we are all the same.
Henry Winkler

29.
No man who drank or smoked could ever come nearer to me than the telephone. I'd say, I won't let you - you nicotine-soaked, beer-besmeared, whiskey-greased, red-eyed devil - talk to me face to face.
Carrie Nation

30.
The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues.
Elizabeth Taylor

31.
Note to self: no matter how bad life gets, there's always beer.
Norm MacDonald

32.
When I get a chance to play golf or go on a boat with good people, take the boat out and put some lobsters on the grill, get the ice-cold beer and the cigars - that's heaven here on earth.
Bernie Mac

33.
How well I remember my first encounter with The Devil'ss Brew. I happened to stumble across a case of bourbon - and went right on stumbling for several days thereafter.
W. C. Fields

34.
So relational evangelism? Go for it, as long as it turns into real evangelism. You hanging out having a beer with your buddy so he can see that Christians are cool is not what we’re called to do. You’re eventually going to have to open up your mouth and share the gospel. When the pure gospel is shared, people respond.
Matt Chandler

35.
Remember, "I" before "E", except in Budweiser.
Irwin Corey

36.
I don't give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way.
Mark Twain

37.
I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.
Joe E. Lewis

38.
That's the problem with drinking, I thought, as I poured myself a drink. If something bad happens you drink in an attempt to forget; if something good happens you drink in order to celebrate; and if nothing happens you drink to make something happen.
Charles Bukowski

39.
Drinking beer is easy. Trashing your hotel room is easy. But being a Christian, that's a tough call. That's rebellion.
Alice Cooper

40.
A guy is a lump like a doughnut. So, first you gotta get rid of all the stuff his mom did to him. And then you gotta get rid of all that macho crap that they pick up from beer commercials. And then there's my personal favorite, the male ego.
Roseanne Barr

41.
I'm an old-fashioned guy... I want to be an old man with a beer belly sitting on a porch, looking at a lake or something.
Johnny Depp

42.
I never was a crazy liquor drinker, and I don't like beer that much - though I keep the brews at home because my homies love beer.
Danny Brown

43.
I aimed at the public's heart, and by accident I hit it in the stomach.
Upton Sinclair

44.
Everybody is using coffee. If possible, this must be prevented. My people must drink beer.
Frederick The Great

45.
We could not now take time for further search or consideration, our victuals being much spent, especially our beer.
William Bradford

46.
His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.
Woody Allen

47.
I never had one beer. If I bought a six-pack of beer, I kept drinking till all six beers were gone. You have to have that kind of understanding about yourself. I haven't had a drink now in 12 years.
Samuel L. Jackson

48.
On victory,
you deserve beer.
On defeat,
you need it.
Napoleon Bonaparte

49.
It is better to think of church in the ale-house than to think of the ale-house in church.
Martin Luther

50.
I'm not saying that people shouldn't go out to football games and drink beer and have a good time, I do it myself. But, at the same time, people are so apathetic and that shows me that they don't care about themselves. They have no self-image. Their image is projected to them via the television and that is where they make decisions about who they are according to what the public says they ought to be.
Alex Jones