Bette Midler Quotes

My idea of superwoman is someone who scrubs her own floors.

If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it?

If only I'd known my differentness would be an asset, then my earlier life would have been much easier.

I firmly believe that with the right footwear one can rule the world.

I have my standards. They're low, but I have them.

Group conformity scares the pants off me because it's so often a prelude to cruelty towards anyone who doesn't want to - or can't - join the Big Parade.

After thirty, a body has a mind of its own.

Cherish forever what makes you unique, 'cuz you're really a yawn if it goes.

If you can accept your differentness and learn to love it and encourage it, then you can be someone wonderful.

I haven't left my house in days. I watch the news channels incessantly. All the news stories are about the election; all the commercials are Viagra and Cialis. Election, erection, election, erection! Either way we're screwed!

Cats always seem so very wise, when staring with their half-closed eyes. Can they be thinking, I'll be nice, and maybe she will feed me twice?

Let the sun stop burning, Let them tell me love's not worth going through. If it all falls apart, I will know deep in my heart, The only dream that mattered had come true ...In this life I was loved by you.

People are not the best because they work hard. They work hard because they are the best.

My whole life had been spent waiting for an epiphany, a manifestation of God's presence, the kind of transcendent, magical experience that lets you see your place in the big picture. And that is what I had with my first [compost] heap.

Make sure your life is a rare entertainment! It doesn't take anything drastic. You needn't be gorgeous or wealthy or smart, just very enthusiastic!

I want it all - and I would like it delivered.

Sometimes my brain goes on CD shuffle. You know, you put a bunch of CD's on and hit play and random things come out.

I feel like a million tonight - but one at a time.

Self-esteem is something you have to earn! The only way to achieve self-esteem is to work hard. People have an obligation to live up to their potential.

Melbourne is the kind of town that really makes you consider the question 'Is there life after death?

Life is not fair. And you have to choose your battles, because there are some that you cannot win. If you're passionate about something, then you should pick up your flag and run with it.

A lot of people say that my life is wasted on me because I could be a bigger asshole than I am, but I've chosen not to be.

I'm the last of the truly tacky women. I do trash with flash and sleaze with ease.

I think most of us are torn. We have at least two people at war in our body. One person wants to retire and grow fabulous tomatoes, and the other wants to stand up on a pedestal and be worshipped and get bigger and bigger and bigger until she explodes.

I always try to balance the light with the heavy - a few tears of human spirit in with the sequins and the fringes.

I wouldn't say I invented tacky, but I definitely brought it to its present high popularity.

Men's brains are smaller than those of women so they can fit into their penises.

Some say love it is a river that drowns the tender reeds. Some say love, it is a razor that leaves your heart to bleed. Some say love, it is a hunger, an endless aching need. I say love, it is a flower and you, its only seed.

When it's three o'clock in New York, it's still 1938 in London.

Find your Light; They can't love you if they can't see you

The worst part of success is to try to find someone who is happy for you.

Just remember, during the winter, far beneath the bitter snow, that there's a seed that with the sun's love in the spring becomes a rose.

It's the heart afraid of breaking that never learns to dance. It is the dream afraid of waking that never takes the chance.

A person's life is a journey, a road. Sometimes you go off the road and sometimes you stay on all the way through. But you are the only one on that road. It's your road.

I'm not interested in perfection. The universe is perfect, and there are some works of art that we see as perfect, but human beings aren't perfect.

You have to think you're the greatest thing since sliced bread, but you have to know that you're not.

[On Denmark:] ... that little country of cottage cheese and courage.

I try not to drink too much because when I'm drunk, I bite.

I'm looking for something that gives me a chance to stretch. Because I have my own work, and I can do anything I want in my own work - juggle, tap dance, anything I want.

If you pick up a ukulele, it will make you unbelievably happy.

The people who are out to destroy the environment think they're going to get away with it. Are they breathing different air than we're breathing? Are they eating different food? I mean, where do they think they're going to go? What do they think is going to be better than what they have destroyed? I just don't get it.

Only two groups of people intimidate me absolutely: salespeople and the French.

I never know how much of what I say is true.

It's the one who won't be taken that cannot seem to give, and the soul afraid of dying that never learns to live.

The first time I saw a picture of [fabled actress] Ethel Barrymore - she was on Broadway and she was wearing pearls. I thought, "That's who I should grow up to be." It's odd, because it was her physical image that I wanted; I had no idea what it was like actually to be her. In those days, we weren't bombarded by images the way we are now, and the ones we did have were more vivid in people's minds.

It's the Point of Your View that Decides What You See - / One Man's Flop Is Another Man's Hit. / From Manners to Movies, the Picture Keeps Changing / Depending Upon Where You Sit.

Honey, I can smell the scent of another woman from 500 paces.

I come from an overly confident place. But I'm overconfident because of feelings of inferiority.

I believe that Judy Garland's artistry was so fine. I mean, when people say: 'oh, she brought so much of her life to her music', I don't really believe that. I believe that she didn't have to. She just was a moving human being. That was her gift.

I married a German. Every night I dress up as Poland and he invades me.