Bill Watterson Quotes

The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.

That's the difference between me and the rest of the world. Happiness isn't good enough for me! I demand euphoria!

Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless.

Nothing helps a bad mood like spreading it around.

What fun is it being cool if you can't wear a sombrero?

We all have different desires and needs, but if we don't discover what we want from ourselves and what we stand for, we will live passively and unfulfilled.

Creating a life that reflects your values and satisfies your soul is a rare achievement. In a culture that relentlessly promotes avarice and excess as the good life, a person happy doing his own work is usually considered an eccentric, if not a subversive... To invent your own life's meaning is not easy, but it's still allowed, and I think you'll be happier for the trouble.

When birds burp, it must taste like bugs.

The truth is, most of us discover where we are headed when we arrive.

There is not enough time to do all the nothing we want to do.

Girls are like slugs - they probably serve some purpose, but it's hard to imagine what.

Selling out is usually more a matter of buying in. Sell out, and you’re really buying into someone else’s system of values, rules and rewards.

I'm not a vegetarian! I'm a dessertarian!

I know the world isn't fair, but why isn't it ever unfair in my favor?

County library? Reference desk, please. Hello? Yes, I need a word definition. Well, that's the problem. I don't know how to spell it and I'm not allowed to say it. Could you just rattle off all the swear words you know and I'll stop you when...Hello?

I like these cold, gray winter days. Days like these let you savor a bad mood.

Did you ever wonder if the person in the puddle is real, and you're just a reflection of him?

Know what's weird? Day by day, nothing seems to change. But pretty soon, everything's different.

If people sat outside and looked at the stars each night, I'll bet they'd live a lot differently.

It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.

Look! A trickle of water running through some dirt! I'd say our afternoon just got booked solid!

I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long. If we're in each other's dreams, we can play together all night.

You can't just turn on creativity like a faucet. You have to be in the right mood. What mood is that? Last-minute panic.

I wish people were more like animals. Animals don't try to change you or make you fit in. They just enjoy the pleasure of your company. Animals aren't conditional about friendships. Animals like you just the way you are. They listen to your problems, they comfort you when you're sad, and all they ask in return is a little kindness.

You know, Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocket ship underpants don't help.

They say the secret of success is being at the right place at the right time, but since you never know when the right time is going to be, I figure the trick is to find the right place and just hang around.

Heck, what's a little extortion among friends?

To invent your own life's meaning is not easy, but it's still allowed, and I think you'll be happier for the trouble.

Calvin: Know what I pray for? Hobbes: What? Calvin: The strength to change what I can, the inability to accept what I can't, and the incapacity to tell the difference.

It's not denial. I'm just selective about the reality I accept.

What's the point of wearing your favorite rocket ship underpants if nobody ever asks to see 'em?

Getting an inch of snow is like winning 10 cents in the lottery.

Hobbes: What are you doing? Calvin: Being "cool." Hobbes: You look more like you're being bored. Calvin: The world bores you when you're cool. Hobbes: Look, I brought a sombrero! Now we can both be "cool." Calvin: A sombrero?! Are you crazy?! Cool people don't wear sombreros! Hobbes: What fun is it being cool if you can't wear a sombrero?

I've got to start listening to those quiet, nagging doubts.

Calvin: The more you know, the harder it is to take decisive action. Once you are informed, you start seeing complexities and shades of gray. You realize nothing is as clear as it first appears. Ultimately, knowledge is paralyzing. Being a man of action, I cannot afford to take that risk. Hobbes: You're ignorant, but at least you act on it.

If people looked at the stars each night, they'd live a lot differently. When you look into infinity, you realize that there are more important things than what people do all day.

If good things lasted forever, would we appreciate how precious they are?

Things are never quite as scary when you've got a best friend.

The purpose of writing is to inflate weak ideas, obscure pure reasoning, and inhibit clarity. With a little practice, writing can be an intimidating and impenetrable fog!

You will do well to cultivate the resources in yourself that bring you happiness outside of success or failure.

Life is full of surprises, but never when you need one.

Calvin: Today for show and tell, I've brought a tiny miracle of nature: a single snowflake! I think we might all learn a lesson from how this utterly unique and exquisite crystal turns into an ordinary, boring molecule of water just like every other one when you bring it into the classroom. And now, while the analogy sinks in, I will be leaving you drips and going outside.

A box of new crayons! Now they’re all pointy, lined up in order, bright and perfect. Soon they’ll be a bunch of ground down, rounded, indistinguishable stumps, missing their wrappers and smudged with other colors. Sometimes life seems unbearably tragic.

Calvin: They say the world is a stage. But obviously the play is unrehearsed and everybody is ad-libbing his lines. Hobbes: Maybe that’s why it’s hard to tell if we’re living in a tragedy or a farce. Calvin: We need more special effects and dance numbers.

A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day.

The problem with the future is that it keeps turning into the present.

Happiness isn't good enough for me! I demand euphoria!

It's a cruel season that makes you get ready for bed while it's light out.

We're so busy watching out for what's just ahead of us that we don't take time to enjoy where we are.

I'm learning real skills that I can apply throughout the rest of my life...procrastinating and rationalizing.