Bob Uecker Quotes

I knew when my career was over. In 1965 my baseball card came out with no picture.

People don't know this, but I helped the Cardinals win the pennant. I came down with hepatitis. The trainer injected me with it!

I signed a very modest $3,000 bonus with the Braves in Milwaukee. And my old man didn't have that kinda money to put out.

I remember one time I'm batting against the Dodgers in Milwaukee. They lead, 2 - 1, it's the bottom of the ninth, bases loaded, two out and the pitcher has a full count on me. I look over to the Dodger dugout and they're all in street clothes.

They broke it to me gently. The manager came up to me before a game and told me they didn't allow visitors in the clubhouse.

If a guy hits .300 every year, what does he have to look forward to? I always tried to stay around .190, with three or four RBI. And I tried to get them all in September. That way I always had something to talk about during the winter.

Between me and my roommate, we've hit 400 Major League home runs.

The highlight of my baseball career came in Philadelphia's Connie Mack Stadium when I saw a fan fall out of the upper deck. When he got up and walked away, the crowd booed.

I led the league in go get 'em next time.

The biggest thrill a ballplayer can have is when your son takes after you. That happened when my Bobby was in his championship Little League game. He really showed me something. Struck out three times. Made an error that lost the game. Parents were throwing things at our car and swearing at us as we drove off. Gosh, I was proud.

In 1962 I was named Minor League Player of the Year. It was my second season in the bigs.

I hope the fans have enjoyed listening as much as I've enjoyed doing the games. I don't ever go to the park where I don't have a good day. I don't like losing. But I don't think I ever go to the park where I have a bad day. I don't think once.

When I came up to bat with three men on and two outs in the ninth, I looked in the other team's dugout and they were already in street clothes.

Not bragging by any means, but I could have done a lot of other stuff as far as working in films go and working in television... I had chances to do that stuff, but I like baseball, I really do.

When I played baseball I got death threats all the time--from my mother.

On TV the people can see it. On radio you've got to create it.

They have Easter egg hunts in Philadelphia, and if the kids don't find the eggs, they get booed.

Where would I be without baseball? Who am I without baseball?

Let's face it. Umpiring is not an easy or happy way to make a living. In the abuse they suffer, and the pay they get for it, you see an imbalance that can only be explained by their need to stay close to a game they can't resist.

I had a great shoe contract and glove contract with a company who paid me a lot of money never to be seen using their stuff.

I would order a dozen bats and there were times they'd come back with handles at each end.

I make fun of situations and try and find the humor in things, but it's never at the expense of the other guy.

Baseball hasn't forgotten me. I go to a lot of old-timers games and I haven't lost a thing. I sit in the bullpen and let people throw things at me. Just like old times.

Any teammate of mine that had a kid and a boy that was capable of playing baseball, I think I set a terrific example of 'Don't do this' and 'Don't do that.' And that's one of the things that I'm most proud of.

I had been playing for a while, and I asked Louisville Slugger to send me a dozen flame treated bats. But when I got it, I realized they had sent me a box of ashes.

I set records that will never be equaled. In fact, I hope 90% of them don't even get printed.

The way to catch a knuckleball is to wait until it stops rolling and then pick it up.

After getting out of the service and going into baseball I never wanted to do anything else.

I spent three of the best years of my life in 10th grade.

I had a .200 lifetime batting average in the major leagues, which tied me with another sports great averaging 200 or better for a ten-year period: Don Carter, one of our top bowlers.

When I looked at the third base coach, he turned his back on me.

Phil Niekro and his brother were pitching against each other in Atlanta. Their parents were sitting right behind home plate. I saw their folks more that day than they did the whole weekend.

I hit a grand slam off Ron Herbel and when his manager Herman Franks came out to get him, he was bringing Herbel's suitcase.

Before broadcasting for 50-some years, I did TV, played 10 years in the big leagues, won a world championship - and played a big part in that, too, letting the Cardinals inject me with hepatitis. Takes a big man to do that.

My kids used to do things to aggravate me, too. I'd take them to a game, and they'd want to come home with a different player.

Sporting goods companies pay me not to endorse their products.

You know, I was once named Minor League Player of the Year...unfortunately, I had been in the majors for two years at the time.

Sure, women sportswriters look when they're in the clubhouse. Read their stories. How else do you explain a capital letter in the middle of a word?

Anybody with ability can play in the big leagues. But to be able to trick people year in and year out the way I did, I think that was a much greater feat.

People have asked me a lot of times, because I didn't hit a lot, how long a dozen bats would last me. Depending on the weight and model I was using at that time - I would say eight to 10 cookouts.

I had slumps that lasted into the winter.

Anyone with talent can play in the Major Leagues; for someone like me to stay around as long as I did, I think that's a much greater acheivement.

Anybody with ability can play in the big leagues. To last as long as I did with the skills I had, with the numbers I produced, was a triumph of the human spirit.

I used to soak my mitts in a bucket of water for about two days. Then I'd put a couple of baseballs in the pocket and wrap it up with a rubber band. Today you don't have to do that, because catchers' mitts are more like first baseman's gloves.

We were on for six years. We were in syndication for a while. It had its run. I still see the people from 'Mr. Belvedere,' too. We stay in touch.

I was acting when I was playing baseball.

You throw batting practice, you warm up pitchers, you sit and cheer. You do whatever you have to do to stay on the team.

I think my top salary was maybe in 1966. I made $17,000 and 11 of that came from selling other players' equipment.

I just grew the hair on my back. Facial hair just wasn't appealing to me. I liked it on my back, though.

I did stand-up, weird and ignorant stuff about my career - anything for a laugh.