Doug Larson Quotes

Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you'd have preferred to talk.

To err is human; to admit it, superhuman.

Never doubt the courage of the French. They were the ones who discovered that snails are edible.

Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon.

Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.

The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball.

Some of the world's greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enough to know they were impossible.

If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles.

A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success.

More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse.

Wisdom is the quality that keeps you from getting into situations where you need it.

Few things are more satisfying than seeing your own children have teenagers of their own.

A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in rows.

The idea that no one is perfect is a view most commonly held by people with no grandchildren.

A lot of people mistake a short memory for a clear conscience.

A pun is the lowest form of humor, unless you thought of it yourself.

Real elation is when you feel you could touch a star without standing on tiptoe.

Establishing goals is all right if you don't let them deprive you of interesting detours.

Few things are more delightful than grandchildren fighting over your lap.

If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a shortage of flowers.

The cat could very well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it.

It's your ability to inspire and uplift other people that matters, not your ability to outdo them.

What some people mistake for the high cost of living is really the cost of living high.

Spring is when you feel like whistling even with a shoe full of slush.

For disappearing acts, it's hard to beat what happens to the eight hours supposedly left after eight of sleep and eight of work.

Nostalgia is a file that removes the rough edges from the good old days.

The surprising thing about young fools is how many survive to become old fools.

Utility is when you have one telephone, luxury is when you have two, and paradise is when you have none.

Accomplishing the impossible means only the boss will add it to your regular duties.

Bad news travels fast. Good news takes the scenic route.

Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog.

The world is full of people looking for spectacular happiness while they snub contentment.

Nostalgia: A device that removes the ruts and potholes from memory lane.

There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 am. It could be a right number.

If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day Weekend.

There must be a happy medium somewhere between being totally informed and blissfully unaware.

The trouble with learning from experience is that you never graduate.

Autumn is a season followed immediately by looking forward to spring.

There's nothing like having grandchildren to restore your faith in humanity.

A clean basement, garage and attic are signs of an empty life.

Ice hockey is a form of disorderly conduct in which the score is kept.

Sometimes opportunity knocks, but most of the time it sneaks up and then quietly steals away.

People are living longer than ever before, a phenomenon undoubtedly made necessary by the 30-year mortgage.

A child is a person who can't understand why someone would give away a perfectly good kitten.

The reason people blame things on the previous generation is that there's only one other choice.

The only nice thing about being imperfect is the joy it brings to others.

In debating the respective merits of dogs and cats, not having to walk a cat when it's 20 below zero deserves consideration.

Fancy Restaurant: one that serves cold soup on purpose.

The trouble with class reunions is that old flames have become even older.

Heredity is a splendid phenomenon that relieves us of responsibility for our shortcomings.