Eric Andre Quotes

I'm a lurker and a creep. Women don't like me because I sleep standing up, like a horse.

I'm an elderly Jewish lesbian trapped in a 33 year old nerd's body.

I'm insecure, and I need the validation of strangers to feel whole. So, I need every single racist 12-year-old on the Internet to like me, or I don't feel complete.

A hole is a hole has always been my motto.

I think everyone is bi, right? There's no such thing as sexual orientation, or race, or gender. Those are all obsolete man-made concepts.

I will smoke crack before I die. I want to see what all the hubbub is about.

I can't tell if the world is worse now or if we just have more cameras. There are cameras everywhere, so now the world knows how bad the world is.

Like I said, a sketch is one joke. They shouldn't really be more than a minute, two minutes. There are some shows where the sketch goes on for five minutes. It's like, "I get it! I'm already bored. I did like the joke, but I don't anymore, because you went on too long."

I think we give human beings too much credit. We're primates, you know.

The president is the country's scapegoat more than the country's leader; the president has as much power as we think the president has. Whoever has the most money is the puppet master.

Do you think we're going to hit a tipping point and the world's going to end?

I'm an Aries. I need everybody to like me.

Before The Simpsons, I was 4 years old, so I don't know exactly what I was thinking before that.

When I'm watching South Park I don't think it's written by neo-Nazis. They know exactly what they're doing.

I feel like we put all the weight on the president, rather than distributing the weight to all of the elected officials.

Wonder Showzen is one of my favorite shows of all time. When I first saw it, I thought it was so funny and new and original and edgy and insane and subversive. I didn't know comedy could do that.

I think part of it is the fact that they were kind of the first of its kind - there weren't a lot of cartoons for adults. People forget at the time that The Simpsons started out, it was controversial - the fact that they said "hell" and "damn" in a cartoon was a lot. America was in an uproar.

You can't really feel the direct change from one president to another versus people closer to you in local elections.

Wonder Showzen was one of the first shows that realized each sketch, each segment is essentially one joke, and, once you know what the joke is, it's time to move on.

I just grew up with it [The Simpsons]. The first season came on when I was 5, 6 years old, and the show evolved as I was growing up and got funnier and funnier and, by the time I was in 12th grade, they were at their funniest.

Bill Cosby spoke out against The Simpsons and there was this kind of evangelical, right-wing sect that was against The Simpsons. Fox was a new network at the time, though, so they were going to take risks.

You see a lot of sketch variety shows where each segment is one joke that they repeat over and over and over again, and the sketches are always three or four minutes too long.

You can make fun of your own a lot easier than someone else's.

I feel the acting conservatory taught me how to be a working actor in the 1700s. We learned stuff like 'to the back of the auditorium, to the back of the auditorium' and the liquid "u." 'The payment is duuue on Tuuuesday.' I also learned how to fence. If anything, when I moved to Los Angeles, I didn't fit in, in any way. I had to do comedy, because I was talking so pretentiously.

Its consistency of what comedy can do and what comedy can be.Growing up with that show [The Simpsons] shaped my worldview.

How many n-bombs are dropped? It depends on what I post.

I care a lot; I'm very sensitive.

All motivation is defined by intention. If the intention is to hurt, divide, or belittle, it's wrong; if it's an attempt to cope with or make sense of tragedy, it's something different. If it's commenting on society's flaws, versus adding to society's flaws, I think the audience can tell.

If the crowd is full of assholes, it's no fun. If the crowd is cool, it's great.

Comedy is often about pain.

I think that we put too much weight on who the president is.

They [ The Simpsons] are just like the Bible to me as far as what the high-water mark of comedy.

If there's an intelligence behind the joke - - it's a good joke.

I do think homophobia in the '80s was more rampant and socially acceptable.

I think if the joke is in good taste - it's a good joke.

I don't think comedians take advantage of the fact that television and film are visual mediums.

There's two sides to the coin. I think I'm much happier that [Barack] Obama won over John McCain or Mitt Romney, because I think Obama did something culturally for the country.

[The people that worked on The Simpsons] just had good taste. They knew how to execute absurd jokes.

I have done some formal acting training, because I sucked at acting when I first got to Los Angeles. I'm still one of the worst actors and auditions out there.

The Simpsons was pretty experimental at the time, but it attracted a lot of sitcom writers that felt confined by the limitations of live-action sitcoms in the '80s.

I'm not a very good actor, so I break character all the time.

Let's hit the joke once and move on to the next joke and just keep it where we have as many jokes per square inch as possible.