Jack Black Quotes

The greatest gift in life is the ability to think great thoughts and have the strength to take action so that those thoughts become reality in this wonderful and abundant world.

Funny songs, that’s my ticket. I can’t remember when it started or why it started, it’s just something that I NEEDED.

I don't have any real spirituality in my life - I'm kind of an atheist - but when music can take me to the highest heights, it's almost like a spiritual feeling. It fills that void for me.

You must never underestimate the power of the eyebrow.

The movie Spinal Tap rocked my world. It's for rock what The Sound of Music was for hills. They really nailed how dumb rock can be.

You're not hardcore, unless you live hardcore

I make a mean peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

I'm fairly certain that YOLO is just Carpe Diem for stupid people.

The thing is, the kids always rebel against what the parents try to push on them so I'm going to pretend like I don't want my son to hear the rock. I'm going to listen to it only in my private chambers. He'll hear echoes of it and say: "What was that you were listening to papa?" And I'll say: "Nothing son, you're not ready."

When I was a kid, I thought I was the strongest man in the world. Then, the fastest runner and then the smartest person in the world. One by one my delusions got shut down. Now I just see myself as the lamest guy in the world.

The real challenge is if you don't look super sexy, like a Brad Pitt, you're going to have to try harder. You're going to have to make up for it in other ways.

There were times when I thought I got a bit more punishment than was coming to me, but I don't regret a minute of it now. Each of us must be tempered in some fire. Nobody had more to do with choosing the fire that tempered me than myself, and instead of finding fault with the fire I give thanks that I had the metal to take the temper and hold it.

I really wanted people to pay attention to me and like me. And the class clown thing, you know? There's a weird desperation to the class clown when you really investigate it. Why are they trying to be the clown so much? They're filling some kind of hole.

I recommend that everyone in their youth be as out of shape as possible so that when you turn 40, people can go, "Wow, you look much better now."

I played, like, a year of piano until I learned the 'Pink Panther' theme. That was my goal. Once I was good enough, I quit. Now my music has to have some rock.

I feel as if you're saying that DJ is not a real job.

There's nothing you can really do to prepare to rock. Do you prepare to eat a delicious meal? Are you hungry? Then you're gonna eat it.

I just had a son and had to take him to the paediatrician and he measured his head and apparently he's in a group in which only 14 per cent of the population have a bigger head than him. Then she said: "Do you mind if I measure your head?" I said: "Go ahead." And she was shocked, because less than one per cent of the world's population has a bigger head than mine. So I guess that means I'm pretty full of myself. Or that I have a huge brain.

I'd rather be the king of kids, than the prince of fools.

I'm always looking for a fresh perspective because it's fun to tell stories that are original and new in some way.

Just because you don't know how to do stand-up doesn't mean you don't know how to put on a show.

When you get to a certain level of recognizability, celebrity, you can't go out of the house without someone going, "Can I just have one photo?" I don't mind, by the way, if anyone wants one we can take some photos. But sometimes you just wanna stay in the house or in the hotel room with the shades closed.

A long life or a short life are of equal importance to God.

I'm an aspiring writer. I hate that phrase. You're either a writer or you're not.

It's all about finding your voice in whatever your profession... it helps your confidence.

We're in the dark ages if J-Lo can have a music career because of her ass. And let's face it, that's it.

If Beethoven and Bach hooked up with Mozart and made a band, they could be a distant runner up to The D.

Push-ups, sit-ups, and a strict diet of raisins. That's my plan [for 2011].

I'd just like to be in films that I would like to see. I think of myself as an entertainment arsenal. Like I have my acting bazooka and my music machete. And you don't know what I'm going to come at you with.

People scream at me, "Hey, let's party." I give off an I'm-crazy-and-I-want-to-arty-and-wrestle-you vibe.

I seem like a big bombastic outgoing dude, when it comes down to it with the ladies, when I was a single, free-wheeling dude, I was always very shy. It was difficult to form sentences with the girl of my dreams.

Justice is a word that resides in the dictionary. It occasionally makes its escape, but is promptly caught and put back where it belongs.

Before we snap to judge someone who's done a horrible crime, is it possible that all of us in the worst possible circumstances could be capable of something like that? So it's about not judging people before really considering what the circumstance was and that not all murderers are created equal. We have a tendency in our society to just say murder? Cut and dried. Go away forever. Or maybe you should have the electric chair yourself.

We're not just twice as powerful when we're together, but ten times as powerful.

Iris, if you were a melody...piano melody. I used only the good notes.

What do you do after you go to space, more importantly? You can't go to a more intense, awesome thing. That's the end.

When you think about rock at its origin, and you think of the Beatles and millions of kids screaming as loud as they can and running as fast as they can towards the Beatles, there's no one who is that kind of lightning rod, who commands that kind of power and has that kind of creative magma.

I've had so many hot, cheesy, corny loves of music in my life. I had a very intense Billy Joel period. So once you've really Joeled it up - there's some good periods of Joel; it's not all hot cheese. But I can't judge anyone else for their cheese. I've deep-sea dived in the Gouda.

My children are magical creatures and I love them to death.

Weddings mainly are for drinkers.

I don't think of myself as a great improver. A lot of times there's long periods of silence when everyone in the recording studio is looking at their watch and waiting for me to say something. And I'm searching desperately in my brain for anything before something dribbles out.

I'm always looking for talented people that I want to collaborate with.

I'm a Jew. Thirty-three is when Christ died. So though I'm a Jew, in the back of my mind I still think that I gotta get it done before I'm thirty-four because well, I don't know why. He got it done before He was thirty-four.

I like being married. I'm at home with my wife and kids all the time now. I don't go out for wild nights.

I love Satan. Christianity is so boring. If Star Wars didn't have that evil imprint, they wouldn't sell two tickets. Satan sells tickets. That dude, Darth Maul, he was down with Satan. Put it this way, Satan loves to party, he loves to f**k and he loves to eat rich, delicious food. Actually that sounds a lot like Kyle Gass (his bandmate).

When I was in High School I fell for pretty much any girl I ever met. But I was so desperate that I couldn't get any of them because they sensed my desperation! After many, many years, I learned to relax and just be myself.

Seems like every other day there's somebody on the news, somebody gets killed or does something crazy and all the neighbors and everybody says, "I can't believe he did that, I can't believe she did that."

I look for good directors mainly because if you do enough of movies where there's not a real creative vision behind it, you start to turn into a robot and you want to jump off a bridge.

Every movie presents its challenges.

Clarifying your identity helps you just talk to ladies.