Masturbation Quotes

The only shame in masturbation is the shame of not doing it well.

My friends keep telling me I'm doing it with Mary Palmer. That's not true - I'm too busy masturbating to meet anyone new.

Love is what makes sex more than masturbation. If there is no love even if you are really with a partner you masturbate with a partner.

We know that more than seventy to eighty percent of women masturbate, and ninety percent of men masturbate, and the rest lie.

Masturbation: the primary sexual activity of mankind. In the nineteenth century it was a disease; in the twentieth, it's a cure.

But it was I - yes I - who discovered the link between excessive masturbation and entry into politics!

Stars today are just masturbation images.

I have masturbated myself out of serious problems in my life.

Masturbation! The amazing availability of it!

Everyone thinks their whole life should be at least as much fun as masturbation.

If masturbation is a crime then I should be on death row.

Women are denied masturbation even more severely than men and that's another method of control-they're not taught to please themselves.... Most women-it takes them a while to warm up to the "situation" but once they get into it, I'm sure they're going to get just as hooked as-well, everyone I know is!

A woman occasionally is quite a serviceable substitute for masturbation.

What I like about masturbation is that you don't have to talk afterwards.

In masturbation there is nothing but loss.

Female masturbation is permissible unconditionally.

Masturbation is good for the right arm.

Masturbation is great for the right arm

Somewhere, there's someone who's masturbation ritual ends with them setting up ventriloquist dummies facing the bed. I mean, someone else.

Masturbation is nothing to be ashamed of. It's nothing to be particularly proud of, either.

I jerk off 'til I bust blood.

German radicalism: freedom-masturbation.

Contempt for others, like masturbation, is best as a secret pleasure.

Above all others I pity the homeless: where can they go to masturbate?

Well, one thing you can say for masturbation... you certainly don't have to look your best.

It's what I call "mental masturbation", when you engage is some pointless intellectual exercise that has no possible meaning.

I thought the whole masturbation thing was really odd and really weird.

I even made love to myself once. Uhh, I wasn't suppose to tell you that.

Masturbation is always very safe. You not only control the person you're with, but you can leave when you want to.

Masturbation is an absolutely peerless cure for the hiccups

Do you know what 'masturbation' is? I think you probably do because you are older than me. But just in case, I will tell you. Masturbation is when you rub your genitals until you have an orgasm. Wow!

Jon Lovitz. Jon, your act is like masturbation: you're the only one who enjoys it, and you should be arrested for doing it in public.

Novels, except as aids to masturbation, play no part in contemporary life.

When they say take from my body, I think I'll take from mine instead. Getting off, getting off while they're all down stairs.

Writing is like a mental masturbation to me.

Clinton masturbates in the sinks.

Sexual gratification can only be achieved through the use of machines.

If I want low-impact aerobics, I'll masturbate. If I want high-impact aerobics, I'll masturbate again.

They are this horrible thing where you are distorted. The chin is too big, the head is too small. No, this is electronic masturbation.

When I'm all alone and I'm by myself, little Peter keeps me company.

Philosophy is to science as masturbation is to sex.

The whole point is you're telling a story to an audience. So when there's no audience, it's like cinematic masturbation.

Writing a book is like masturbation, and making a movie is like an orgy.