1.
A new broom can sweep the floor, but an old broom knows where the dirt is.
Paul Mooney
2.
People don't want to hear the truth, they never do. They wanna live in some kind of fantasy. And then when they get caught up in it, they start being in denial because they don't want to be wrong.
Paul Mooney
3.
I have nothing to do with racism in America; it was here when I got here.
Paul Mooney
4.
We have a lot of black Anglo-Saxons. Their skin is black, but their brain is white. When I get real mad at them, I call them graham crackers.
Paul Mooney
5.
If your hair is relaxed, white people are relaxed. If your hair is nappy, they're not happy.
Paul Mooney
6.
People in America worship money, and a white man's face on a green piece of paper does not make me wealthy. My health makes me wealthy. I used to work at a hospital, so I know the real deal.
Paul Mooney
7.
No wonder circus animals do what they do: They tortured them. And you know the only ones they can't control? It's the chimpanzees. You can't control them. That's why you never see a gorilla in a movie, because the gorilla may decide there'll be no filming.
Paul Mooney
8.
White people are very good at acting like they're not racist. They deserve an Academy Award for that.
Paul Mooney
9.
Listen, we've got one little ol' black president, and white folks are upset, but they've had 43.
Paul Mooney
10.
Hillary Clinton could say she was a woman and running for president. And Sarah Palin could say she was a woman and running for vice-president. But Obama couldn't say, 'I'm black and I'm running for president.' It couldn't come out of his mouth. He couldn't say that because, if he did, he'd lose votes.
Paul Mooney
11.
Handshaking means, 'I don't have a weapon.'
Paul Mooney
12.
If you have money and you have fame, but you don't have any confidence in your blackness, then it's all for nothing.
Paul Mooney
13.
You can't pick when you're touched. You can't pick the time. It just is. It's the reality. What it is, is. I can't change the past. I can only deal with the present and the future.
Paul Mooney
14.
The political arena is the funniest.They [politicians] are always pretending to change, but they never change. They're the best actors and actresses in the world. They've always been hilarious since the beginning of time.
Paul Mooney
15.
You got to remember that slavery's very complex. It has a lot of levels to it.
Paul Mooney
16.
People think you're crazy if you turn money down... people worship money.
Paul Mooney
17.
America is racial. America was founded on race. Race is America. The code name for America is 'race.'
Paul Mooney
18.
I can't change the past, but one person can change the future - anything can happen.
Paul Mooney
19.
When I was 16 or 17, I saw Lenny Bruce being taken to jail. They took him off stage because he talked about race.
Paul Mooney
20.
People do many things for many reasons. Sometimes, what you do you have no control over, because it's predestined. It's gonna happen in spite of you. There's nothing you can do about it.
Paul Mooney
21.
I'm passionate about what I do. I'd be naive to be passive.
Paul Mooney
22.
I love Obama because he is proof all black people don't look alike. Nobody every told me, 'Good morning, Mr. President.' We don't all look alike.
Paul Mooney
23.
Whatever that thing is that white people like in blacks, I don't have it. Maybe it's my arrogance or my self-assurance or the way I carry myself, but whatever it is, I don't have it.
Paul Mooney
24.
I think about never losing my voice, never giving in, never selling out, always keeping black, always sticking to the street. Staying neighborhood and not Hollywood.
Paul Mooney
25.
Racism is a form of insanity. Human beings became racist when they started talking. Speech has a lot to do with it.
Paul Mooney
26.
An audience can be like a pack of wolves.
Paul Mooney
27.
What does America love more than one white male?
Paul Mooney
28.
I like when people are trapped in the joke, when there's no escape. I like to lead people down the wrong path and then trap them.
Paul Mooney
29.
America does not like losers. Look how we treated those soldiers who came back from Vietnam. Because they lost. America likes winners.
Paul Mooney
30.
I've never seen anyone more messed up over success than Richard Pryor. For him, it's a constant battle between success in the white world and keeping it real for his black self.
Paul Mooney
31.
A goat's a goat. Whether you sauté or barbeque it, it's still a goat.
Paul Mooney
32.
I'm as American as apple pie.
Paul Mooney
33.
When they were making black films in the '60s and the '70s, everyone knew their place, if you get my drift. You understand? Everyone knew the rules, and everyone knew their place. Everyone knew what to say. They had the written rules in Hollywood film, and the unwritten rules.
Paul Mooney
34.
America has a rap sheet. You can't police the world and tell the world how to act when you're just as bad yourself.
Paul Mooney
35.
I don't do drugs. Because my grandmother raised me. I think like an old, black, Southern woman. If I'd have done coke, I'd probably be cooking pancakes.
Paul Mooney
36.
Arizona has always been anti-black.
Paul Mooney
37.
I don't want affirmative action - too much affirmative, not enough action.
Paul Mooney
38.
White people made up the n-word, they knew about racial jokes before anybody, and in their old movies and old cartoons they made fun of everybody, especially black folks. Racial jokes were not new to them.
Paul Mooney
39.
You white folks see UFOs in your dreams. You don't hear about Martians in Harlem.
Paul Mooney
40.
There's no such thing as reverse racism.
Paul Mooney
41.
Majority doesn't rule. One person can change the history of the world.
Paul Mooney
42.
When you know who you are, you know who you are. That's the real dangerous thing in Hollywood, because they all want to create you and mold you.
Paul Mooney
43.
My comedy is a nuclear bomb inside my mind. It's a weapon that's never been tested. It just blows up and flattens everybody.
Paul Mooney
44.
You know who you are. If my mother is a nun and someone comes up to me and they go, 'Your mother is a prostitute.' It is not going to bother me, because I know my mother is a nun, she's not a prostitute.
Paul Mooney
45.
There's always a message in my comedy.
Paul Mooney
46.
Hollywood doesn't even have respect for itself. Hollywood lies to itself.
Paul Mooney
47.
People ask me, when was my best time? I always say, 'Today.'
Paul Mooney
48.
Robin Williams learned technique. He has the technique of being funny.
Paul Mooney
49.
If you're happy with what you're doing, then you don't get bored.
Paul Mooney
50.
What does it mean to be too black for Hollywood? It's self-explanatory. Hollywood has certain kinds of blacks that they like.
Paul Mooney