Prince Philip Quotes

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.

If I were reincarnated I would wish to be returned to Earth as a killer virus to lower human population levels.

During the Blitz, a lot of shops had their windows blown in and put up notices saying, 'More open than usual'. I now declare this place more open than usual.

Cannibalism is a radical but realistic solution to the problem of overpopulation.

How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to pass the test?

People think there's a rigid class system here, but dukes have been known to marry chorus girls. Some have even married Americans.

I would like to go to Russia very much — although the bastards murdered half my family.

You're just a silly little Whitehall twit: you don't trust me and I don't trust you.

The bastards murdered half my family.

In the event that I am reincarnated, I would like to return as a deadly virus, in order to contribute something to solve overpopulation.

So you are the people tearing down the Brazilian rainforest and breeding cattle.

I thought it was against the law for a woman to solicit.

I don't care what kind it is, just get me a beer.

A few years ago, everybody was saying we must have more leisure, everyone's working too much. Now everybody's got more leisure time they're complaining they're unemployed. People don't seem to make up their minds what they want.

I don't think a prostitute is more moral than a wife, but they are doing the same thing.

A horse which stops dead just before a jump and thus propels its rider into a graceful arc provides a splendid excuse for general merriment.

If you stay here much longer you'll all be slitty-eyed.

Change does not change tradition, it strengthens it. Change is a challenge and anopportunity, not a threat.

Wildlife of the world is disappearing, not because of a malicious and deliberate policy of slaughter and extermination, but simply because of a general and widespread ignorance and neglect.

Do you work in a strip club?

Dontopedalogy is the science of opening your mouth and putting your foot in it, which I've practised for many years.

A gun is no more dangerous than a cricket bat in the hands of a madman.

So who's on drugs here?... He looks as if he's on drugs.

You can't have been here long, you haven't got a pot belly.

If it has got four legs and it is not a chair, if it has got two wings and it flies but is not an aeroplane, and if it swims and it is not a submarine, the Cantonese will eat it.

[after accepting a gift from a Kenyan woman] You are a woman, aren't you?

We didn't have counsellors rushing around every time somebody let off a gun. You just got on with it!

You could do with losing a little bit of weight.

But we are not going to be able to survive on this limited planet if the population keeps on growing: there isn't going to be anything left.

What about Tom Jones? He's made a million and he's a bloody awful singer.

Human population growth is probably the single most serious long-term threat to survival. We're in for a major disaster if it isn't curbed...We have no option. If it isn't controlled voluntarily, it will be controlled involuntarily by an increase in disease, starvation and war.

I never see any home cooking - all I get is fancy stuff.

Do you still throw spears at each other?

It's no use saying do this, do that, don't do that ... it's very easy when children want something to say no immediately. I think it's quite important not to give an unequivocal answer at once. Much better to think it over. Then, if you eventually say no, I think they really accept it.

It’s a pleasure to be in a country that isn’t ruled by its people.

It's my custom to say something flattering to begin with so I shall be excused if I put my foot in it later on.

I just wonder what it would be like to be reincarnated in an animal whose species had been so reduced in numbers than it was in danger of extinction. What would be its feelings toward the human species whose population explosion had denied it somewhere to exist. I must confess that I am tempted to ask for reincarnation as a particularly deadly virus.

If it doesn't fart or eat hay, she isn't interested.

It's a vast waste of space.

For conservation to be successful it is necessary to take into consideration that it is a characteristic of man that he can only be relied upon to do anything consistently which is in his own interest.

Everybody was saying we must have more leisure. Now they are complaining they are unemployed.

That's a nice tie... Do you have any knickers in that material?

I must confess that I am interested in leisure in the same way that a poor man is interested in money.

British women can't cook.

As so often happens, I discover that it would have been better to keep my mouth shut.

Anyone who is concerned about his dignity would be well advised to keep away from horses.

The world population 60 years ago was just over 2 billion and it's now more than 6 billion. This huge increase - an explosion really - has probably done more harm to the environment than anything else.

The conservation of nature, the proper care for the human environment and a general concern for the long-term future of the whole of our planet are absolutely vital if future generations are to have a chance to enjoy their existence on this earth.

It's difficult to see how it's possible to become immensely valuable by singing what are the most hideous songs.

The man who invented the red carpet needed his head examined.