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Santa Quotes

1.
No sane local official who has hung up an empty stocking over the municipal fireplace is going to shoot Santa Claus just before a hard Christmas.
Al Smith

Authors on Santa Quotes: Judd Nelson Nicki Minaj Jon Stewart Charles M. Schulz Marisa Miller Francis Pharcellus Church Jimmy Fallon Maud Lindsay Daniel Handler David Letterman Woody Allen Maureen Johnson Al Smith Jim Butcher Pat Boone Roy Blount, Jr. Trey Parker Augusten Burroughs Jerry Lawler David Remnick Geraldine Chaplin Terry Zwigoff Courtney Love Ellen Bass Gene Autry Salman Rushdie Ludwig von Mises Jim Lovell Patti Smith Rickie Lee Jones Annie Dillard Matt Barr David Sedaris
2.
I usually like to throw on some flip flops and go to a really nice lunch in Venice, or Santa Monica, or stay in and cook dinner.
Ben Savage

3.
I keep three hoes, But don't'call me Santa
Nicki Minaj

4.
The only school that let me in was U.C. Santa Cruz, which is where I went. They didn't have a journalism program, so I took sociology, which is the closest thing to journalism.
David Talbot

5.
Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies!
Francis Pharcellus Church

6.
I'm Santa Claus to these hoes without a reindeer.
Nicki Minaj

7.
If Mitt Romney was Santa Claus, he would fire the reindeer and outsource the elves.
Ted Strickland

8.
Santa will be showing up with Rudolph the Red-Eyed Reindeer.
Conan O'Brien

9.
Postal officials say that before Christmas they receive tons of letters written to Santa Claus, but after Christmas how few letters of thanks are sent to him! From childhood onward, human beings seem to be characterized by thanklessness.
Robert E. Lee

10.
Please be informed, there is a Santa Claus.
Jim Lovell

11.
To really make it look like Santa came, I put reindeer poop on the roof. It's just so cold up there with my pants down.
Dana Gould

12.
There are a few YouTube clips of me singing at The King's Head in Santa Monica, so you can see how bad I am.
Vinnie Jones

13.
I'm the only one who still believes in Santa Claus!
Edith Piaf

14.
Our family was too strange and weird for even Santa Claus to come visit ... Santa, who was jolly - but, let's face it, he was also very judgmental.
Julia Sweeney

15.
I keep 3 hos but don't call me Santa And I'm and I'm flyer than reindeers in winter
Nicki Minaj

16.
Snowball just leads elves on, elves and Santas. He is playing a dangerous game.
David Sedaris

17.
Here comes Santa Claus! Here comes Santa Claus! Right down Santa Claus Lane!
Gene Autry

18.
Yes Virginia, There is a Santa Claus.
Francis Pharcellus Church

19.
By the way, Santa just is white.
Megyn Kelly

20.
Anybody who is born in Santa Rosa must turn out to be either an artist or a poet, for the spirit of the hills gets into your blood out there.
Robert Ripley

21.
The greatest thing is not to believe in Santa Claus; it is to be Santa Claus.
Pat Boone

22.
I live in Santa Cruz. I moved here in 1974 and couldn't leave.
Ellen Bass

23.
I see Santa Claus and Joseph Smith and Luke Skywalker as the same person.
Trey Parker

24.
You better watch out You better not cry Better not pout I'm telling you why Santa Claus is coming to town
Maud Lindsay

25.
Someone once said that taxes are the price we pay for civilization. That may have been true when he said it, but today taxes are mostly the price we pay so that politicians can play Santa Claus and get reelected.
Thomas Sowell

26.
Those North Korean hackers are at it again. Earlier today they leaked Santa's naughty list.
David Letterman

27.
If you can delude yourself by believing that there is some kind of Santa Claus out there who is going to bail you out in the end, then it will help you get through. Even if you are proven wrong in the end, you would have had a better life than a non-believer.
Woody Allen

28.
What kind of Christmas present would Jesus ask Santa for?
Salman Rushdie

29.
Aren't we forgeting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa.
Matt Groening

30.
I'm not going to make a present of Santa.
Sam Allardyce

31.
I joined the board of the Santa Fe Institute.
Esther Dyson

32.
Nobody shoots at Santa Claus.
Samuel Butler

33.
I love Christmas! I'm not religious, but I love the trappings of the season. I love the decorations, and the music, and Santa, and the festive food, and the cinnamon- and vanilla-infused aromas.
Jane Cleland

34.
All the world is happy when Santa Claus comes.
Maud Lindsay

35.
The real Santa Claus is at the mall.
Daniel Handler

36.
For the most part, people use God as Santa Claus.
Rickie Lee Jones

37.
When Tim Allen made The Santa Clause, I thought that was a delightful film. It took a modern sensibility but layered onto it a kind of sentiment.
Leonard Maltin

38.
The only thing wrong with the U.S. economy is the failure of the Republican Party to play Santa Claus.
Jude Wanniski

39.
"Please stop," I said. "You're upsetting the black Santas."
John Green

40.
Grown ups don't believe in Santa Claus. They vote.
Pierre Desproges

41.
One of the things I had a hard time getting used to when I came to California in '78 was Santa Claus in shorts.
Dennis Franz

42.
If the Pilgrims had landed in Santa Monica Bay rather than Boston, we'd have six states out here!
Kevin Starr

43.
I was born in Santa Monica but brought up abroad so I don't use English much.
Geraldine Chaplin

44.
Everyone thinks of God as a man - you can't help it - Santa Claus was a man, therefore God has to be a man.
Patti Smith

45.
Unwisely, Santa offered a teddy bear to James, unaware he had been mauled by a grizzly earlier this year.
Tim Burton

46.
Not everyone who sells Christmas trees believes in Santa Claus.
Matt Barr

47.
The title of that great Christmas song was 'Boogie Woogie Santa Claus,' and no one ever heard of it.
Patti Page

48.
You know, in a way, 'Dear Santa Claus' is rather stuffy... Perhaps something a little more intimate would be better... Something just a shade more friendly..." "How about 'Dear Fatty'?
Charles M. Schulz

49.
Dear Santa Claus, just a last note before you take off. I hope you have a nice trip. Don't forget to fasten your seat belt.
Charles M. Schulz

50.
Once you stop believing in Santa Claus, the whole world just goes downhill.
Tom Clancy