1.
No sane local official who has hung up an empty stocking over the municipal fireplace is going to shoot Santa Claus just before a hard Christmas.
Al Smith
2.
I usually like to throw on some flip flops and go to a really nice lunch in Venice, or Santa Monica, or stay in and cook dinner.
Ben Savage
3.
I keep three hoes, But don't'call me Santa
Nicki Minaj
4.
The only school that let me in was U.C. Santa Cruz, which is where I went. They didn't have a journalism program, so I took sociology, which is the closest thing to journalism.
David Talbot
6.
I'm Santa Claus to these hoes without a reindeer.
Nicki Minaj
7.
If Mitt Romney was Santa Claus, he would fire the reindeer and outsource the elves.
Ted Strickland
8.
Santa will be showing up with Rudolph the Red-Eyed Reindeer.
Conan O'Brien
9.
Postal officials say that before Christmas they receive tons of letters written to Santa Claus, but after Christmas how few letters of thanks are sent to him! From childhood onward, human beings seem to be characterized by thanklessness.
Robert E. Lee
10.
Please be informed, there is a Santa Claus.
Jim Lovell
11.
To really make it look like Santa came, I put reindeer poop on the roof. It's just so cold up there with my pants down.
Dana Gould
12.
Our family was too strange and weird for even Santa Claus to come visit ... Santa, who was jolly - but, let's face it, he was also very judgmental.
Julia Sweeney
13.
I'm the only one who still believes in Santa Claus!
Edith Piaf
14.
There are a few YouTube clips of me singing at The King's Head in Santa Monica, so you can see how bad I am.
Vinnie Jones
15.
I keep 3 hos but don't call me Santa And I'm and I'm flyer than reindeers in winter
Nicki Minaj
16.
Snowball just leads elves on, elves and Santas. He is playing a dangerous game.
David Sedaris
19.
Here comes Santa Claus! Here comes Santa Claus! Right down Santa Claus Lane!
Gene Autry
20.
The greatest thing is not to believe in Santa Claus; it is to be Santa Claus.
Pat Boone
21.
I live in Santa Cruz. I moved here in 1974 and couldn't leave.
Ellen Bass
22.
Anybody who is born in Santa Rosa must turn out to be either an artist or a poet, for the spirit of the hills gets into your blood out there.
Robert Ripley
23.
You better watch out You better not cry Better not pout I'm telling you why Santa Claus is coming to town
Maud Lindsay
24.
Someone once said that taxes are the price we pay for civilization. That may have been true when he said it, but today taxes are mostly the price we pay so that politicians can play Santa Claus and get reelected.
Thomas Sowell
25.
Those North Korean hackers are at it again. Earlier today they leaked Santa's naughty list.
David Letterman
26.
I see Santa Claus and Joseph Smith and Luke Skywalker as the same person.
Trey Parker
27.
If you can delude yourself by believing that there is some kind of Santa Claus out there who is going to bail you out in the end, then it will help you get through. Even if you are proven wrong in the end, you would have had a better life than a non-believer.
Woody Allen
28.
What kind of Christmas present would Jesus ask Santa for?
Salman Rushdie
30.
Aren't we forgeting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa.
Matt Groening
32.
I love Christmas! I'm not religious, but I love the trappings of the season. I love the decorations, and the music, and Santa, and the festive food, and the cinnamon- and vanilla-infused aromas.
Jane Cleland
33.
I joined the board of the Santa Fe Institute.
Esther Dyson
34.
All the world is happy when Santa Claus comes.
Maud Lindsay
37.
When Tim Allen made The Santa Clause, I thought that was a delightful film. It took a modern sensibility but layered onto it a kind of sentiment.
Leonard Maltin
38.
The only thing wrong with the U.S. economy is the failure of the Republican Party to play Santa Claus.
Jude Wanniski
39.
If the Pilgrims had landed in Santa Monica Bay rather than Boston, we'd have six states out here!
Kevin Starr
40.
Everyone thinks of God as a man - you can't help it - Santa Claus was a man, therefore God has to be a man.
Patti Smith
41.
I was born in Santa Monica but brought up abroad so I don't use English much.
Geraldine Chaplin
42.
"Please stop," I said. "You're upsetting the black Santas."
John Green
44.
One of the things I had a hard time getting used to when I came to California in '78 was Santa Claus in shorts.
Dennis Franz
45.
Christmas always sucked when I was a kid because I believed in Santa Claus. Unfortunately, so did my parents. So I never got anything.
Charlie Viracola
46.
What about Santa's cookies? I suppose 'parents' eat those, too?
Will Ferrell
47.
Unwisely, Santa offered a teddy bear to James, unaware he had been mauled by a grizzly earlier this year.
Tim Burton
48.
Not everyone who sells Christmas trees believes in Santa Claus.
Matt Barr
49.
The title of that great Christmas song was 'Boogie Woogie Santa Claus,' and no one ever heard of it.
Patti Page
50.
You know, in a way, 'Dear Santa Claus' is rather stuffy... Perhaps something a little more intimate would be better... Something just a shade more friendly..." "How about 'Dear Fatty'?
Charles M. Schulz