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Santa Quotes

1.
No sane local official who has hung up an empty stocking over the municipal fireplace is going to shoot Santa Claus just before a hard Christmas.
Al Smith

Authors on Santa Quotes: Nicki Minaj Judd Nelson Maud Lindsay Daniel Handler David Letterman Jon Stewart Charles M. Schulz Marisa Miller Francis Pharcellus Church Jimmy Fallon David Talbot Kevin Starr Robert E. Lee Will Ferrell Kelley Armstrong Tim Burton Andrew Barrett Jude Wanniski John Brunner Pierre Desproges Karen Armstrong Ralph Waldo Emerson Claudia Gray Jane Cleland Robert Ripley William P. Young Megyn Kelly Ben Savage George Wendt Tina St. John April Bowlby Julia Sweeney John Green
2.
I usually like to throw on some flip flops and go to a really nice lunch in Venice, or Santa Monica, or stay in and cook dinner.
Ben Savage

3.
I keep three hoes, But don't'call me Santa
Nicki Minaj

4.
The only school that let me in was U.C. Santa Cruz, which is where I went. They didn't have a journalism program, so I took sociology, which is the closest thing to journalism.
David Talbot

5.
Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies!
Francis Pharcellus Church

6.
I'm Santa Claus to these hoes without a reindeer.
Nicki Minaj

7.
If Mitt Romney was Santa Claus, he would fire the reindeer and outsource the elves.
Ted Strickland

8.
Santa will be showing up with Rudolph the Red-Eyed Reindeer.
Conan O'Brien

9.
Postal officials say that before Christmas they receive tons of letters written to Santa Claus, but after Christmas how few letters of thanks are sent to him! From childhood onward, human beings seem to be characterized by thanklessness.
Robert E. Lee

10.
Please be informed, there is a Santa Claus.
Jim Lovell

11.
To really make it look like Santa came, I put reindeer poop on the roof. It's just so cold up there with my pants down.
Dana Gould

12.
Our family was too strange and weird for even Santa Claus to come visit ... Santa, who was jolly - but, let's face it, he was also very judgmental.
Julia Sweeney

13.
I'm the only one who still believes in Santa Claus!
Edith Piaf

14.
There are a few YouTube clips of me singing at The King's Head in Santa Monica, so you can see how bad I am.
Vinnie Jones

15.
I keep 3 hos but don't call me Santa And I'm and I'm flyer than reindeers in winter
Nicki Minaj

16.
Snowball just leads elves on, elves and Santas. He is playing a dangerous game.
David Sedaris

17.
Yes Virginia, There is a Santa Claus.
Francis Pharcellus Church

18.
By the way, Santa just is white.
Megyn Kelly

19.
Here comes Santa Claus! Here comes Santa Claus! Right down Santa Claus Lane!
Gene Autry

20.
The greatest thing is not to believe in Santa Claus; it is to be Santa Claus.
Pat Boone

21.
I live in Santa Cruz. I moved here in 1974 and couldn't leave.
Ellen Bass

22.
Anybody who is born in Santa Rosa must turn out to be either an artist or a poet, for the spirit of the hills gets into your blood out there.
Robert Ripley

23.
You better watch out You better not cry Better not pout I'm telling you why Santa Claus is coming to town
Maud Lindsay

24.
Someone once said that taxes are the price we pay for civilization. That may have been true when he said it, but today taxes are mostly the price we pay so that politicians can play Santa Claus and get reelected.
Thomas Sowell

25.
Those North Korean hackers are at it again. Earlier today they leaked Santa's naughty list.
David Letterman

26.
I see Santa Claus and Joseph Smith and Luke Skywalker as the same person.
Trey Parker

27.
If you can delude yourself by believing that there is some kind of Santa Claus out there who is going to bail you out in the end, then it will help you get through. Even if you are proven wrong in the end, you would have had a better life than a non-believer.
Woody Allen

28.
What kind of Christmas present would Jesus ask Santa for?
Salman Rushdie

29.
I'm not going to make a present of Santa.
Sam Allardyce

30.
Aren't we forgeting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa.
Matt Groening

31.
Nobody shoots at Santa Claus.
Samuel Butler

32.
I love Christmas! I'm not religious, but I love the trappings of the season. I love the decorations, and the music, and Santa, and the festive food, and the cinnamon- and vanilla-infused aromas.
Jane Cleland

33.
I joined the board of the Santa Fe Institute.
Esther Dyson

34.
All the world is happy when Santa Claus comes.
Maud Lindsay

35.
The real Santa Claus is at the mall.
Daniel Handler

36.
For the most part, people use God as Santa Claus.
Rickie Lee Jones

37.
When Tim Allen made The Santa Clause, I thought that was a delightful film. It took a modern sensibility but layered onto it a kind of sentiment.
Leonard Maltin

38.
The only thing wrong with the U.S. economy is the failure of the Republican Party to play Santa Claus.
Jude Wanniski

39.
If the Pilgrims had landed in Santa Monica Bay rather than Boston, we'd have six states out here!
Kevin Starr

40.
Everyone thinks of God as a man - you can't help it - Santa Claus was a man, therefore God has to be a man.
Patti Smith

41.
I was born in Santa Monica but brought up abroad so I don't use English much.
Geraldine Chaplin

42.
"Please stop," I said. "You're upsetting the black Santas."
John Green

43.
Grown ups don't believe in Santa Claus. They vote.
Pierre Desproges

44.
One of the things I had a hard time getting used to when I came to California in '78 was Santa Claus in shorts.
Dennis Franz

45.
Christmas always sucked when I was a kid because I believed in Santa Claus. Unfortunately, so did my parents. So I never got anything.
Charlie Viracola

46.
What about Santa's cookies? I suppose 'parents' eat those, too?
Will Ferrell

47.
Unwisely, Santa offered a teddy bear to James, unaware he had been mauled by a grizzly earlier this year.
Tim Burton

48.
Not everyone who sells Christmas trees believes in Santa Claus.
Matt Barr

49.
The title of that great Christmas song was 'Boogie Woogie Santa Claus,' and no one ever heard of it.
Patti Page

50.
You know, in a way, 'Dear Santa Claus' is rather stuffy... Perhaps something a little more intimate would be better... Something just a shade more friendly..." "How about 'Dear Fatty'?
Charles M. Schulz