1.
I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch.
George Burns
2.
Too much of anything is bad, but too much good whiskey is barely enough.
Mark Twain
3.
There are two things a Highlander likes naked, and the other one is Malt Whisky
R. H. Bruce Lockhart
4.
My God, so much I like to drink Scotch that sometimes I think my name is Igor Stra-whiskey.
Igor Stravinsky
5.
Happiness is having a rare steak, a bottle of whiskey, and a dog to eat the rare steak.
Johnny Carson
6.
Champagne's funny stuff. I'm used to whiskey. Whiskey is a slap on the back, and champagne's a heavy mist before my eyes.
James Stewart
7.
Well, between Scotch and nothin', I suppose I'd take Scotch. It's the nearest thing to good moonshine I can find.
William Faulkner
8.
Cuban cigars are an acquired taste, like Scotch whisky. If you're not used to them, you'll get a headache, you'll find them much too strong. But to a cigar connoisseur, a longtime smoker, if you have a well-made, well-aged one, there is nothing like a Cuban cigar. Getting them is the ultimate mission; any cigar lover would do anything
Marvin Shanken
9.
You're getting into some kind of shape, cop." Aw, come on, now." Butch grinned. "Don't let that shower we took go to your head." Rhage fired a towel at the male. "Just pointing out your beer gut's gone." It was a Scotch pot. And I don't miss it.
J.R. Ward
10.
The light music of whiskey falling into glasses made an agreeable interlude.
James Joyce
11.
I'm not interested in creating a book that is read once and then placed on the shelf and forgotten. I am very happy when people have worn out my books, or that they're held together by Scotch tape.
Richard Scarry
12.
Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a case of Scotch.
W. C. Fields
13.
Someone is putting brandy in your bonbons, Grand Marnier in your breakfast jam, Kahlua in your ice cream, Scotch in your mustard and Wild Turkey in your cake.
Marian Burros
14.
The only thing better than one of my songs is one of my songs with a glass of scotch.
Jackie Gleason
15.
What, then, is this new man, the American? They are a mixture of English, Scotch, Irish, French, Dutch, Germans, and Swedes. From this promiscuous breed, that race, now called Americans, have arisen.
J. Hector St. John de Crevecoeur
16.
I don't mind growing old. If I have to go before my time, this is how I'll go-- cigarette in one hand, glass of scotch in the other.
Ava Gardner
17.
I always take Scotch whiskey at night as a preventive of toothache. I have never had the toothache; and what is more, I never intend to have it.
Mark Twain
18.
I've been on the whisky diet - I've already lost three days!
Tommy Cooper
19.
We are here a nation, composed of the most heterogeneous elements-Protestants and Catholics, English, French, German, Irish, Scotch, every one, let it be remembered, with his traditions, with his prejudices. In each of these conflicting antagonistic elements, however, there is a common spot of patriotism, and the only true policy is that which reaches that common patriotism and makes it vibrate in all toward common ends and common aspirations.
Wilfrid Laurier
21.
Scotch whisky is made from barley and the morning dew on angel's nipples.
Warren Ellis
23.
If there's a God out there, then i would hope he has more important things to attend to than my drinking scotch or eating pork.
Khaled Hosseini
24.
If you want to feel less sexy put scotch tape on your nipples.
Demetri Martin
25.
We could say that people who eat grits, listen to country music, follow stock-car racing, support corporal punishment in the schools, hunt 'possum, go to Baptist churches and prefer bourbon to Scotch are likely to be Southerners.
John Shelton Reed
26.
One good thing about rain in Scotland. Most of it ends up as scotch.
Peter Alliss
27.
There is no such thing as a bad whisky. Some whiskies just happen to be better than others.
William Faulkner
28.
I was a drinker, so I went through the scotches. Before single malts hit, there were really cheap scotches, because nobody was paying attention to them. Then by the time they started jacking those prices up, I moved on to vodka.
Lewis Black
29.
Why don’t you come up and have a little ... scotch and sofa?
Mae West
30.
Had I been brighter, the ladies been gentler, the Scotch been weaker, had the gods been kinder, had the dice been hotter, this could have been a one-sentence story: Once upon a time I lived happily ever after.
Mickey Rooney
31.
The best blended Scotch in the history of the world - which was also the favourite drink of the Iraqi Baath Party, as it still is of the Palestinian Authority and the Libyan dictatorship and large branches of the Saudi Arabian royal family - is Johnnie Walker Black. Breakfast of champions, accept no substitute.
Christopher Hitchens
32.
I like my whisky old and my women young.
Errol Flynn
33.
Vodka eyeballing sounds great, but it's a
slippery slope. Next, you'll be scotch nostriling, tequila nippling and,
before you know it, Jager tainting.
Stephen Colbert
34.
I wanna get drunk 'til I'm off my mind. One bourbon, one scotch, and one beer.
John Lee Hooker
35.
My family was a bunch of drunks. When I was six I came up missing, they put my picture on a bottle of scotch.
Rodney Dangerfield
36.
Drink reacts on its practitioners in conflicting ways. One brave can knock off a quart of Scotch and look and act as sober as Herbert Hoover. Another, after three Martinis, makes two-cushion carroms off the chaise lounge as he attempts to negotiate the bathroom.
Tallulah Bankhead
37.
The water was not fit to drink. To make it palatable, we had to add whisky. By diligent effort, I learned to like it.
Winston Churchill
38.
An appreciation of prose is learned, not instinctive. It is an acquired taste, like Scotch whisky.
Abigail Padgett
39.
The Irish are hearty, the Scotch plausible, the French polite, the Germans good-natured, the Italians courtly, the Spaniards reserved and decorous - the English alone seem to exist in taking and giving offense.
William Hazlitt
41.
Scotch needs water like a fish needs a bicycle.
W. C. Fields
42.
The Yankee: In acuteness and perseverance, he resembles the Scotch. In frugal
neatness, he resembles the Dutch. But in truth, a Yankee is nothing else on earth
but himself.
Frances Trollope
43.
There's nothing quite like a Scotch education. One is left with an irreparable debt. My head is full of irregular verbs still.
Ivor Cutler
44.
Jimmy used to drink liquor. Now he's running for president and he drinks Scotch, and I've never trusted a Scotch-drinker.
Billy Carter
45.
I went to the butchers to buy a leg of lamb. "Is it Scotch?", I asked. "Why?" the butcher said in reply. "Are you going to talk to it or eat it?". "In that case, have you got any wild duck?". "No", he responded, "but I've got one I could aggravate for you."
Chic Murray
46.
The Scotch catechism says that man's chief end is 'to glorify God and enjoy Him forever.' But we shall then know that these are the same thing. Fully to enjoy is to glorify. In commanding us to glorify Him, God is inviting us to enjoy Him.
C. S. Lewis
47.
I like to think of myself as some of the Scotch tape that holds things together - I'm very handy to have around. But all that actors really need is a bare stage. Lighting is just one of the luxuries of the theater.
Jean Rosenthal
48.
When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks.
George Burns
49.
I'm second in doubles - double vodkas, double scotches.
Jim Leyland
50.
Because of some defect in my motor skill, I can never COMPLETELY wrap [gifts]....If I had been an ancient Egyptian in the field of mummies, the lower half of the Pharaoh's body would be covered only by scotch tape.
Dave Barry