1.
My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more.
Walter Matthau
My physician granted me six months to live, but when I could not settle the debt he extended my time.
2.
I wanted to be a pharmacist. I liked the way our local pharmacist was always dressed in a nice white coat; he looked very calm, you'd give him money, and he'd give you something that you wanted to buy.
Walter Matthau
3.
Every actor looks all his life for a part that will combine his talents with his personality... 'The Odd Couple' was mine. That was the plutonium I needed. It all started happening after that.
Walter Matthau
4.
I don't mind my wife having to last word. In fact I'm delighted when she reaches it.
Walter Matthau
5.
There's no such thing as 'too late!' That's why they invented death!
Walter Matthau
6.
I could play a cop, I could play a crook, I could play a lawyer, I could play a dentist, I could play an art critic-I could play the guy next door. I am the guy next door. I could play Catholic, Jewish, Protestant. As a matter of fact, when I did The Odd Couple, I would do it a different way each night. On Monday I'd be Jewish, Tuesday Italian, Wednesday Irish-German-and I would mix them up. I did that to amuse myself, and it always worked.
Walter Matthau
7.
Why don't you do the world a favour. Pull your bottom lip up over your head and swallow.
Walter Matthau
8.
I have more talent in my smallest fart than you have in your entire body.
Walter Matthau
9.
I always had one ear offstage, listening for the call from the bookie.
Walter Matthau
10.
My mother paid eight dollars a month for rent. When she had it. Mostly we were evicted, because she couldnt afford to pay the eight dollars a month.
Walter Matthau
11.
We're writing a book together. She just finished one. Did you read it? Among the Porcupines?
Walter Matthau
12.
Get out of show business. Its the best advice I ever got, because Im so stubborn that if someone would tell me that, I would stay in it to the bitter end.
Walter Matthau
13.
I never worked with Marilyn Monroe, but if she'd lived, I think she would have been all right. She would have been President of the United States.
Walter Matthau
14.
It's very easy to live here. You're anonymous here. Nobody knows who you are.
Walter Matthau
15.
To be successful in show business, all you need are 50 good breaks.
Walter Matthau
16.
You see, my father was a Catholic priest, Greek Orthodox, but I think he started out as a Jew, then he became a Catholic priest.
Walter Matthau
17.
The first girl you go to bed with is always pretty.
Walter Matthau
