1.
If it's sent by ship then it's a cargo, if it's sent by road then it's a shipment.
Dave Allen
2.
We spend our lives on the run: we get up by the clock, eat and sleep by the clock, get up again, go to work - and then we retire. And what do they give us? A bloody clock.
Dave Allen
3.
Goodnight, thank you, and may your God go with you.
Dave Allen
4.
A good storyteller never lets the facts get in the way.
Dave Allen
5.
My church accepts all denominations - fivers, tenners, twenties.
Dave Allen
6.
Am I the Irish comedian with half a finger? No, I'm the Irish comedian with nine and a half fingers.
Dave Allen
7.
How could I have not known about Ume? An Austin trio fronted by a whirling dervish of singer guitarist who in the standard PR band head shot looks like she wouldn't hurt a fly; yet give her a guitar, a Marshall stack and a mic and stand back, way back. She shreds. File under - Do Not Overlook and Go Tell Your Friends
Dave Allen
8.
I don't go out of my way to be outrageous, I just go out of my way to look at things.
Dave Allen
9.
It's the behaviour of your company and its people that form your reputation, and your reputation is your brand
Dave Allen