Drunk Quotes

If unable to abstain from drinking, a man may get drunk three times a month; if he does it more than three times he is culpable; if he gets drunk twice a month it is better; if once a month, this is still more laudable; and if one does not drink at all what can be better? But where can I find such a man? If such a man were found he would be worthy of the highest esteem.

And in the end, we were all just humans...Drunk on the idea that love, only love, could heal our brokenness.

Gratitude is the wine for the soul. Go on. Get drunk.

I was so drunk last night I fell down and missed the floor.

It does matter where you go to church, it does matter where you worship, it does matter where you lift your head, it does matter where you cry out to God. There is something about the atmosphere. I might be lame, but put me in the atmosphere. I may be drunk, but put me in the atmosphere. I may be weak, but put me in the atmosphere.

There is nothing left to do but get drunk.

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.

Statistics are used much like a drunk uses a lamppost: for support, not illumination.

Like a bird on a wire, like a drunk in a midnight choir, I have tried in my way to be free!!

I'm too drunk to taste this chicken

Being drunk is a good disguise. I drink so I can talk to assholes. This includes me.

A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says "You've been brought here for drinking." The drunk says "Okay, let's get started.

I may be known as the girl who was sunbathing topless with a Prince but Jordan is known as that thick girl who always falls out of clubs drunk. I know which one I prefer.

If one must drink, then let one drink thrice a month, for more is bad. If one gets drunk twice a month, it is better; if one gets drunk once a month, that is better still; and if one doesn't drink at all, that is the best of all.

The Lover is ever drunk with Love. He is mad. She is free. He sings with delight. She dances in ecstasy. Caught by our own thoughts, we worry about everything. But once we get drunk on that Love Whatever will be, will be.

An American monkey, after getting drunk on brandy, would never touch it again, and thus is much wiser than most men.

A man can take a little bourbon without getting drunk, but if you hold his mouth open and pour in a quart, he's going to get sick on it.

Here's to alcohol, the rose colored glasses of life.

I am an intelligent drunk because an intelligent drunk carries his liquor with him

"Mr. Churchill you're drunk!" Mr. Churchill: "And you, Lady Astor, are ugly. As for my condition, it will pass by the morning. You, however, will still be ugly.

A good writer is not, per se, a good book critic. No more so than a good drunk is automatically a good bartender.

One should always be drunk. That's all that matters...But with what? With wine, with poetry, or with virtue, as you chose. But get drunk.

You have to be always drunk. That's all there is to it-it's the only way. So as not to feel the horrible burden of time that breaks your back and bends you to the earth, you have to be continually drunk. But on what? Wine, poetry or virtue, as you wish. But be drunk.

A drunk driver is very dangerous. So is a drunk backseat driver if he's persuasive.

Never Forget what someone says to you when they are drunk. Because Drunk words are Sober Thoughts

If carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be messed-up.

Grant stood by me when I was crazy, and I stood by him when he was drunk, and now we stand by each other.

God invented whiskey to keep the Irish from ruling the world.

Nationalism is like cheap alcohol. First it makes you drunk, then it makes you blind, then it kills you.

Credit buying is much like being drunk. The buzz happens immediately and gives you a lift... The hangover comes the day after.

When we started I wasn't the singer. I was the drunk rhythm guitarist who wrote all these weird songs.

There is something about safari life that makes you forget all your sorrows and feel as if you had drunk half a bottle of champagne — bubbling over with heartfelt gratitude for being alive.

I have lived carefully, sheltered myself from the cold winds, eaten moderately of what was in season, drunk fine claret, slept in my own sheets; I shall live long.

Thanksgiving. It's like we didn't even try to come up with a tradition. The tradition is, we overeat. 'Hey, how about at Thanksgiving we just eat a lot?' 'But we do that every day!' 'Oh. What if we eat a lot with people that annoy the hell out of us?'

Heaven preserve me from littleness and pleasantness and smoothness. Give me great glaring vices, and great glaring virtues, but preserve me from the neat little neutral ambiguities. Be wicked, be brave, be drunk, be reckless, be dissolute, be despotic, be a suffragette, be anything you like, but for pity's sake be it to the top of your bent. Live fully, live passionately, live disastrously. Let's live, you and I, as none have ever lived before.

Sometimes if you get 'em too drunk they don't pay no attention to what you're doin' anyways, so you might as well just do old songs. But if you get one that's paying attention, sometimes we'll do some new material.

Those who have been too long at their labor, who have drunk too long at the cup of voluptuousness, who feel they have become temporarily inhumane, who are tormented by their families, who find life sad and love ephemeral......they should all eat chocolate and they will be comforted.

I'm still terrified of flying. I really have to get drunk to fly. I've found that I've developed fears I never had before... fears of heights, claustrophobia... only in cities, though, never in the country.

People are used to being stimulated. People are drunk on entertainment and when you're going out and seeing movies where 200 people are machine gunned down and vampires are tearing people's throats out, and I'm not saying that is bad or it should be censored, but people are drunk on stimuli.

I didn't start MADD to deal with alcohol. I started MADD to deal with the issue of drunk driving.

Be wicked, be brave, be drunk, be reckless, be dissolute, be despotic, be a suffragette, be anything you like, but for pity's sake be it to the top of your bent.

A man who exposes himself when he is intoxicated, has not the art of getting drunk.

I dealt with men who had tempers, and who could get violent-Lord knows how I had to defend myself against Howard Hughes and Frank Sinatra, and from Artie Shaw's verbal abuse. But George [C. Scott] was a different category of animal when he got drunk. He'd break into my hotel room, which he did in Italy, London and at the Beverly Hills Hotel, attack me to where I was frightened for my life, and scream, 'Why won't you marry me?' Well, I would never marry a man who couldn't control his liquor. Me, I'm a happy drunk. I laugh, I dance. I certainly don't break bottles and threaten to kill.

Many people have played themselves to death. Many people have eaten and drunk themselves to death. Nobody ever thought himself to death.

I hope to go into a poem sober and come out a little drunk. And if I do then that's a real poem.

I'd give all the champagne I've ever drunk to be playing alongside him in a big European match at Old Trafford.

You don't quite know how drunk you are until all of a sudden you're on the floor

You know what the worst part about my drinking is? When I'm drunk I slur. You know, like I say racial slurs. Wow, nobody likes that at a barbeque.

Any drunk who has tried to put his car where a lamppost stands is a self-educated physicist.

Only three types of people tell the truth: Kids, the drunk, and the angry.