J. B. Morton Quotes

One disadvantage of being a hog is that at any moment some blundering fool may try to make a silk purse out of your wife's ear.

Vegetarians have wicked, shifty eyes, and laugh in a cold calculating manner. They pinch little children, steal stamps, drink water, favor beards.

Justice must not only be seen to be done but has to be seen to be believed.

Erratum. In my article on the Price of Milk, 'Horses' should have read 'Cows' throughout.

A library is a room where the murders take place.

Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

Wagner is the Puccini of music.

Economy: cutting down other people's wages.

To fairy flutes, As the light advances, In square black boots The cabman dances.