1.
If you're here for four more years or four more weeks, you're here right now. I think when you're somewhere, you ought to be there. It's not about how long you stay in a place, it's about what you do while you're there, and when you go, is that place any better for your having been there?
Jerry Stahl
2.
Heroin spread that soft blanket over everything. But once the blanket was ripped off, it took a layer of skin with it, leaving nothing but nerve ends screaming in the breeze.
Jerry Stahl
3.
Jake La Botz is a creator of dark poetry and haunting song, the kind of music that gets in your bones and rides you for days, a sound and vision only those who've been to the bottom and clawed their way back up can generate. His midnight gifts evoke Hank Williams and Skip James as much as Tom Waits and Dylan. Not everybody will get this music - because not everybody is ready for the truth.
Jerry Stahl
4.
You may think you don't want to throw your life away for mere fleeting euphoria. But, once you get a taste, it doesn't feel so mere. From then on the planet becomes a waiting room. The rest of your life devolves to no more than the time between highs.
Jerry Stahl
5.
A waft of sweet hash drifted by, and I wanted to float after it like Wimpy levitating at the scent of a hamburger.
Jerry Stahl
6.
The traditional dictionary definition of the difference is that an alcoholic will steal your wallet in a blackout, come to, and apologize for it. A junkie will steal your wallet and then help you look for it. But ultimately I think all addictions boil down to just not being able to be with yourself for any long degree of time.
Jerry Stahl
7.
I need - and occasionally love - to write for the same reasons I always did: hard as writing is, it's generally easier than life.
Jerry Stahl
8.
All of us, at some point in life, choose our cliché.
Jerry Stahl
9.
It's not like I was an alkie or anything. Alcohol is for cleaning needles
Jerry Stahl
10.
The Adderall Diaries is phenomenal. With jittery finesse and a reformed tweaker's eye for detail, Stephen Elliott captures the terrifying, hilarious, heart-strangling reality of a life whose scorched-earth physical and psycho-emotional dimensions no one could have invented - they absolutely had to be lived. By all rights, the author should either be dead or chewing his fingers in a bus station. Instead, he may well have written the memoir of an entire generation.
Jerry Stahl
11.
I don't really know how to do much else besides write.
Jerry Stahl
12.
I used to say, for me, writing was like walking a high wire, and heroin made me forget there was no net. Which is a fancy way of saying dope made me forget how shitty I felt for being on dope.
Jerry Stahl
13.
I kept getting high to kill my shame at the fact that I kept getting high.
Jerry Stahl
14.
I think that a lot of people are in love with stress. It's the dirty little secret of Western civilization. People often mistake stress for fuel.... to me, stress is just another bad drug that I don't want to do.
Jerry Stahl
15.
I think there's a phenomenon of people who want to be around something that seems "dangerous." It makes them feel more real.
Jerry Stahl
16.
I always tell myself, when I remember the non-stop self-generated hell party that used to be my life, I wouldn't be here if I didn't go there.
Jerry Stahl
17.
My own theory is that people are just so desperate for somebody they can feel better than, in America. Now that everyone's going broke and working 17 jobs - if they have one at all - at least they can look at these guys behind bars and think, "At least I get to wear my own clothes to work."
Jerry Stahl
18.
I didn't really start publishing books until I was 40 because I was busy being a McDonald's employee. So there's always a sense of trying to make up for lost time.
Jerry Stahl
19.
You can't really compare hells. But I suppose the hell of being strung out on another person's addictive behavior is its own special thing.
Jerry Stahl
20.
I think it's just too kinda juicy and compelling to imagine people in their private lives, but then half the time people's private lives are just so much more bizarre and Ted Haggard-like than you could ever imagine. It's almost hard to write fiction anymore.
Jerry Stahl
21.
For me there was never a lot of glamor involved in being a junkie, it was about trying to hide the puke and bloodstains on my shirt.
Jerry Stahl
22.
I always figured I myself would never be lucky enough to die, I'd just live on and on in this increasingly dreary spiral.
Jerry Stahl
23.
The second time I took acid, I watched myself in the mirror for nine hours. What I realized, when I stared, was that my face looked exactly the same when I cried as when I laughed. After awhile I couldn't tell which I was doing. Relief was just pain inside out.
Jerry Stahl
24.
Half the reason I turned into a writer is you didn't have to show up anywhere. You could work naked.
Jerry Stahl
25.
Rumi will transform you, in ways you didn’t know you needed transforming.
Jerry Stahl
26.
Life can be lived as a temporary arrangement. Life is a temporary arrangement! But the longer you go without changing, the more obscure the likelihood you ever will. After enough time passes, the idea of another way of life grows even more misty.
Jerry Stahl
27.
At 17, all I wanted was to be a famous junky. Like all my heroes.
Jerry Stahl
28.
Creativity is the opposite of TV
Jerry Stahl
29.
This is, I believe, what happens when people take their own lives. They're not killing themselves, they're killing the world. Either to spare it pain or to cause it some, depending.
Jerry Stahl
30.
In my family, misery didn't just love company, it wanted hostages.
Jerry Stahl
31.
I've always wanted to be a guy with a rec room.
Jerry Stahl
32.
You need an entire drama to construct your life around to avoid living it.
Jerry Stahl
33.
If you're an asshole, you have an excuse for being an asshole because you're a junkie. But then once you give up the drugs, and you're still an asshole, that's problematic.
Jerry Stahl
34.
This is what I think: If you had the nerve to live what you lived, you should have the nerve to write it.
Jerry Stahl
35.
There was a weird intimacy, sitting in a car together. Couples sat in cars. Cops and their partners. Strangers became unstrange, sharing a windshield view of the world.
Jerry Stahl
36.
All my life I'd gone for women who were a little off.
Jerry Stahl
37.
Nothing ever turns me on so much in a woman as unhappiness.
Jerry Stahl
38.
To me, God is like this happy bus driver.
Jerry Stahl
39.
There's no deodorant for desperation.
Jerry Stahl
40.
How do you write when you're not miserable? The solution, of course, is to make yourself miserable about not writing.
Jerry Stahl
41.
Junkies are liars. They have to be professionally.
Jerry Stahl
42.
The art and act of writing - speaking just for myself - involves getting your proverbial ass in the proverbial chair.
Jerry Stahl