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Lisa Lampanelli Quotes

American comedian, Birth: 19-7-1961
1.
Jeff Foxworthy is a legend. Every time I see his moustache it reminds me to wax my lip and every time I hear his jokes it reminds me to wipe my ass.
Lisa Lampanelli

2.
Larry the Cable Guy has everything: sleeveless shirts, stupid catchphrases. He's Mr. T without the acting chops.
Lisa Lampanelli

3.
Usually I'm on top to keep the guy from escaping.
Lisa Lampanelli

4.
I'm decorating my parents' house for Christmas... I hope they find my manger with a baby yeezus in it as funny as I do!
Lisa Lampanelli

5.
Even going on stage is a service because it brings people up from thinking about their lost job or their lost spouse or something like that, so that even helps people when I'm doing comedy; it's all done to make them laugh.
Lisa Lampanelli

Similar Authors: George Carlin Jay Leno Bill Maher David Letterman Jon Stewart Stephen Colbert Jimmy Fallon Craig Ferguson Mitch Hedberg Jim Gaffigan Rodney Dangerfield Ellen DeGeneres Robin Williams Joan Rivers David Sedaris
6.
A lot of comics just joke around, but it's just as important to get the truth out there.
Lisa Lampanelli