Marty Feldman Quotes

I won't eat anything that has intelligent life, but I'd gladly eat a network executive or a politician.

You offer a sincere compliment on a great mustache and suddenly she's not your friend.

Money can't buy poverty.

Hookers have to deliver on their promise... unlike politicians.

Could be worse... Could be raining

Too old to die young, and too young to grow up.

Sex is two plus two making five, rather than four. Sex is the X ingredient that you can't define, and it's that X ingredient between two people that make both a man and a woman good in bed. It's all relative. There are no rules.

I don't enjoy anything while I'm doing it. I enjoy having done things, though.

Comedy, like sodomy, is an unnatural act.

I don't know any jokes, which is embarrassing. I wish I did.

I don't want to be a director. I want to direct. There's a difference.

He made us laugh, he took my pain away. I love you, Lauretta.