1.
There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.
Oscar Levant
2.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I.
Oscar Levant
3.
Underneath this flabby exterior is an enormous lack of character.
Oscar Levant
4.
I envy people who drink. At least they have something to blame everything on.
Oscar Levant
5.
What the world needs is more geniuses with humility; there are so few of us left.
Oscar Levant
6.
Once he makes up his mind, he's full of indecision. - On Dwight D. Eisenhower
Oscar Levant
7.
Schizophrenia beats dining alone.
Oscar Levant
8.
The only difference between the Democrats and the Republicans is that the Democrats allow the poor to be corrupt, too.
Oscar Levant
9.
A politician is a man who will double cross that bridge when he comes to it.
Oscar Levant
10.
It'd be nice to please everyone but I thought it would be more interesting to have a point of view.
Oscar Levant
11.
Happiness isn't something you experience; it's something you remember.
Oscar Levant
12.
Every time I look at you I get a fierce desire to be lonesome.
Oscar Levant
13.
It's not what you are, it's what you don't become that hurts.
Oscar Levant
14.
I was once thrown out of a mental hospital for depressing the other patients.
Oscar Levant
15.
When I was young I looked like Al Capone, but I lacked his compassion.
Oscar Levant
16.
My psychiatrist once said to me, 'Maybe life isn't for everyone'.
Oscar Levant
17.
Strip away the phony tinsel of Hollywood and you'll find the real tinsel underneath.
Oscar Levant
18.
When I can't sleep, I read a book by Steve Allen.
Oscar Levant
19.
There are two sides to every question: my side and the wrong side.
Oscar Levant
20.
An epigram is only a wisecrack that's played at Carnegie Hall.
Oscar Levant
21.
I'm controversial. My friends either dislike me or hate me
Oscar Levant
22.
I'm a study of a man in chaos in search of frenzy.
Oscar Levant
23.
In some situations I was difficult, in odd moments impossible, in rare moments loathsome, but at my best unapproachably great.
Oscar Levant
24.
A conductor should reconcile himself to the realization that regardless of his approach or temperament the eventual result is the same-the orchestra will hate him.
Oscar Levant
25.
You can't possibly hear the last movement of Beethoven's Seventh and go slow. (Oscar trying to talk his way out of a speeding ticket)
Oscar Levant
26.
Now that Marilyn Monroe is kosher, Arthur Miller can eat her.
Oscar Levant
27.
I never read bad reviews about myself, because my friends invariably tell me about them.
Oscar Levant
28.
I've given up reading books. I find it takes my mind off myself.
Oscar Levant
29.
I don't like to play the piano. It makes me too attractive.
Oscar Levant
30.
George, if you had to do it all over, would you fall in love with yourself again?
Oscar Levant
31.
So little time and so little to do.
Oscar Levant
32.
A pun is the lowest form of humor—when you don't think of it first.
Oscar Levant
33.
Once I make up my mind, I'm full of indecision.
Oscar Levant
34.
I don't drink. I don't like it. It makes me feel good.
Oscar Levant
35.
I could never have a mistress, because I couldn't bear to tell the story of my life all over again.
Oscar Levant
36.
I'm a concert pianist, that's a pretentious way of saying I'm unemployed at the moment.
Oscar Levant
37.
Harpo, she's a lovely person. She deserves a good husband. Marry her before she finds one.
Oscar Levant
38.
I am no more humble than my talents require.
Oscar Levant
39.
Debbie Reynolds is as wistful as an iron foundry.
Oscar Levant
40.
When I appeared before the draft board examiner during World War II, he asked me if I thought I could kill. "I don't know about strangers," I replied, "but friends, certainly."
Oscar Levant
41.
Self-pity - it's the only pity that counts.
Oscar Levant
42.
Marriage is a triumph of habit over hate.
Oscar Levant
43.
I'm a self-made man. Who else would help?
Oscar Levant
44.
I played an unsympathetic part -- myself.
Oscar Levant
45.
I'm going to memorize your name and throw my head away.
Oscar Levant
46.
Talent's like a baby. Wrap it up in wool and it goes to sleep.
Oscar Levant
47.
Ballet is the fairies' baseball.
Oscar Levant
48.
I never watch the Dinah Shore show- I'm a diabetic.
Oscar Levant
49.
My last picture for Warners was Romance on the High Seas. It was Doris Day's first picture; that was before she became a virgin.
Oscar Levant
50.
[Madame Nhu was] the Sandra Dee of South Vietnam. If I were cast on a desert island with her, I would quickly make friends with the natives.
Oscar Levant
