Chevy Chase Quotes

Parrots make great pets. They have more personality than goldfish

I'm going to give you a little advice. There's a force in the universe that makes things happen. And all you have to do is get in touch with it, stop thinking, let things happen, and be the ball.

It's never a good idea for a celebrity to sign autographs or take pictures if a crowd is gathering.

Step by step, we will break this cycle of silence, poor information and stigma.

The best advice I can give you about falling is to never land.

It took me 20 years of making movies to learn how to do it.

I am a clown, just without the painted smile.

A flute without holes, is not a flute. A donut without a hole, is a Danish.

A laugh is a surprise. And all humor is physical. I was always athletic, so that came naturally to me.

I made about 28 movies, and I think about five of them were good.

How much do I owe you?

What interests me is being alive and being with friends that I care about and being as creative as I can given circumstance.

What makes a home home? Animals, and a little bit of clutter.

Some Harvard guy said that acid would open our minds, pot wouldn't hurt us, and cocaine was benign.

With Clinton, there's no question that I would have made fun of his out-and-out lying. But he's also a good friend.

Last good pratfall I did, I broke bones in both hands. I still feel it when people shake my hand.

Anyone who wants to run has to be a Jimmy Swaggart, minus the default.

Fame is a very unnatural human condition. When you stop to realize that Abraham Lincoln was probably never seen by more than 400 people in a single evening, and that I can enter over 40 million homes in a single evening due to the power of television, you have to admit the situation is not normal.

Socialism works ... [and] Cuba might prove that. I think it's conclusive that there have been areas where socialism has helped to keep people at least stabilized at a certain level.

I think the Clintons are brilliant. I've never met a person as intelligent as Bill, and I think Hillary is right up there with him. They're too smart for Washington.

You may have read that I went to M.I.T. In 1982 I filled out a Who's Who survey with joking responses, and they never bothered to check the facts.

I tell the person I won't take a picture or sign the autograph, but I will shake their hand. That kind of personal touch is all they're really seeking.

The fact was, Ford kept stumbling around. I didn't want him in the White House. I wanted Carter in, and I had a forum of 20 million people watching.

Most of the films I've done were ruined in the postproduction, not during filming.

I learned a lot about handling fans from established stars.

I watched every single Charlie Chaplin film.

I have three daughters. I wanted them to be raised where there are real seasons and where everyone their age wasn't trying to get into movies.

Once I got married and had kids, I moved away from romantic roles, because it seemed wrong to have my 3-year-old wondering why Daddy was kissing someone else.

The best comedy I ever did was when people didn't know who I was.

I guess I look so straight and normal nobody expects me to pick my nose and fall.

You could knock my teeth out and break my nose, and there'd be something funny about it to me.

All my children inherited perfect pitch.

Television doesn't make stars. It's the written media, the press, that makes stars.

I was always the guy getting kicked out of my classes at school for having an attitude problem.

Every Vacation movie didn't just make the studio money. They each made the studio a lot of money.

My father was the funniest guy I ever met. I'm not sure if I stole his stuff or if I inherited it.

I don't know if my looks will ever get any better, but my pratfalls sure won't.

I just went into this business for laughs. I guess I don't mind being an actor so much now.

If you're in the White House, it's your house, and you can invite whatever friend you want.