Danny DeVito Quotes

I've been to the Leaning Tower of Pisa. It's a tower, and it's leaning. You look at it, but nothing happens, so then you look for someplace to get a sandwich.

We don't even know if we're in this room. We could be in a turtle's dream in outer space.

The choices we make, dictate the lives we lead.

The whole point of love is to put someone else’s needs above your own.

When we get out of this, I'm gonna shove my fist right into your ass, hard and fast Not in the sexual way! In the 'I am pissed off' sort of way.

A tree falls the way it leans. Be careful the way you lean.

Christmas is a good excuse to eat everything.

It don't care whether I'm good enough. It don't care whether I snore or not. It don't care which God I pray to. There are only three things with that kind of unconditional acceptance: Dogs, donuts, and money.

We did 'Erin Brockovich,' we did 'Man on the Moon,' we did 'Living Out Loud,' but now I'm going to keep going.

It's fun to be on the edge. I think you do your best work when you take chances, when you're not safe, when you're not in the middle of the road, at least for me, anyway.

I don’t look ahead. I’m right here with you. It’s a good way to be.

There are two dilemmas that rattle the human skull: How do you hang on to someone who won't stay? And how do you get rid of someone who won't go?

I'll tell you one thing, it's a cruel, cruel world.

A bad salesman will automatically drop his price. Bad salesmen make me sick.

Of course I've got lawyers. They are like nuclear weapons, I've got em 'cause everyone else has. But as soon as you use them they screw everything up.

In order for the light of gratitude and happiness to shine so brightly, the darkness of how it could be worse must be present.

Everybody needs money. That's why they call it money.

I don't know. I think it's funny! I think it's funny! I go, what? It's so absurd. I'm alone.

I climbed like a billion stairs... its not like I can take them two at a time.

I'm shooting in Brooklyn, we've got all kinds of crap going on, and I'm all alone now in a big hotel suite that you can't believe the size of it and a thing sticks in my foot and I just think it's the funniest thing that's ever happened to me.

So, you pick this stuff here and this stuff there and then you see things in certain ways and you start visualizing and thank God I get the chance to do this. It's really the greatest thing in the whole wide world.

A lot of it revolves around food with me because a lot of my life does in a way.

It's just an ice bucket with a bottle in it. The two flute glasses are little tray. I got to shut the curtains. I'm in my boxer shorts and shirt. I'm going to take a bath and go to bed. But I want to shut the blinds so it's really dark in the room.

America's racist, so what do you expect.

I'm always studying and I've been doing it for a long time now.

I love going to all kinds of movies, I screen DVDs in my house, but I go to the theatre a lot in the afternoon. I don't get bugged because there aren't many people around.

What do you call 500 lawyers lying on the bottom of the Ocean? A good start.

Even if one doesn't smoke pot, one has to see the benefits of decriminalizing it.

The son has always felt like he was a footnote in one of the stories the father tells. The father is an amazing storyteller and one of the tales that he tells is how he met his wife.

In this movie, you have all the things you love from Tim. All the magic and the whimsy and the surreal, but he also has a fantastic story of a father and son that really gets under your skin.

It's unfortunate that the entire country is a racist country.We're living in a country that discriminates, and has certain racist tendencies.

What you do with it and things like that, but I basically chose this after I read it because I thought it was different and funny and unique and dark - things that I like to do.