Tracy Morgan Quotes

Affirmative action was designed to keep women and minorities in competition with each other to distract us while white dudes inject AIDS into our chicken nuggets.

My sense of humor is a turkey, and I pull it out of the oven and baste it in reality.

And when I was angry, when I was younger, I was in a cocoon. Now I'm a beautiful, black butterfly.

They say when opportunity knocks you should let it in and invite it to sit at your table. F*** that -- when opportunity knocks, you should take it captive. Beat that s*** down. I've got opportunity tied to a chair in my basement with a ball gag in its mouth. Opportunity ain't even thinking about leaving my house. If you keep quiet for a second, you'll hear it whining.

Bad news travels at the speed of light; good news travels like molasses.

I have snakes, three sharks, moray eels, piranhas, five scorpions and a bird spider. All of them are predators. They are dangerous but it's cool to have strong and powerful pets.

I see knowledge of self. I know who I am. When I look in the mirror, I see me.

Fame doesn't matter. Money doesn't matter. Those things are forever fleeting. I just want to have a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, so that when I'm long gone my great-great-grandchildren can walk up to it and say, "That's my ancestor." That will be my legacy.

Don't follow in my footsteps. Be original, and create your own path. Be a trailblazer! Do you! Be better than me. Do you! Be happy and have joy in your life.

I love my mother. My mother made sure, her stubbornness - she made sure we was going to eat. She made sure we had Christmases. That was my mother. My father wasn't there for that.

My father said: "If you want to catch your girl cheating, you knock on the front door and run to the back, because he's coming out the back."

The truth is if I had a gay son, I would love him just as much as if he was straight… I might have to try to love even more because I know of the difficulty that he would have in society.

I love this cornbread so much, I wanna take it behind a middle school and get it pregnant.

In my heart, I really don't care who you love, same sex or not; as long as you have the ability to love, that's the important thing here.

Eddie [Murphy] is an icon. He's one of the reason why I started doing comedy in the beginning. He opened a lot of doors for black people.

Live every week like it's shark week.

I've got to show life as I see it.

I've been funny my whole life. This is a gift God gave me.

Michael's the ultimate entertainer. After Michael Jackson, it's Elvis Presley, Frank Sinatra, and Bruce Lee.

Stand-up don't get no respect - it's the hardest thing to do in show business. You don't have no band and there's no music.

I just see myself as a short, dumpy guy with bad feet, and I'm passionate.

When a child is born, it's born with a heart of gold, but the way of this world can turn that heart cold. I'm still a good person, and I thank God for that - He's working with me on it.

I see the ups and downs. I see the mistakes I've made. I see a funny person. I see a serious person. I see a diamond. I see the good times. I see the bad times. And I see knowledge of self. I see knowledge of self. I know who I am. When I look in the mirror, I see me.

Being funny wasn't a career choice growing up, it was my way out of situations; a way to survive another day.

I just want to have a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, so that when I'm long gone my great-great-grandchildren can walk up to it and say, "That's my ancestor." That will be my legacy.

My life growing up was a twisted Bronx version of The Color Purple. It had a much different soundtrack and no trees, but that desperation was the same.

Having a daughter makes you see things in a different way. This is my only girl. So I don't care what it takes to protect her. You can call it what you want to call it. As long as you treat her the same way I treat her, like my princess, I don't mind.

I don't have a hateful bone in my body. I don't believe anyone should be bullied or made to feel bad about who they are.

You will be surprised but I do a lot of studying and I watch National Geographic.

Listen, Bruce Lee fought out of anger. That’s why they call it the Fists of Fury. Michael Jackson danced with fury. I do stand up out of fury. I’m not mad at anybody. I’m not mad at any human being because I’m a human being.

I think people would want to see Tracy Morgan host Saturday Night Live.

If you can survive 'Saturday Night Live,' then you're good as far as show business is concerned.

The things I did on Saturday Night Live are going to stay as Saturday Night Live. You've never seen Eddie Murphy do a Gumby movie. There's a lot more new material inside of me.

I was like any other inner-city kid with a chip on his shoulder because his daddy and his mommy wasn't together.

My sense of humor was a tool for me getting past my mother and father separating, my older brother having cerebral palsy, and the bullies in the schoolyard. I had to make them laugh to keep them off my ass. I brought that to my professional career.

I want to let my fans know I love them and I'm coming your way and I'm bringing truckloads of funny.

I don't really take the college tours and all that. Those are young people and I'm quite sure they're mature enough to understand, but they haven't seen or lived real life yet.

I just want to be funny, I just want to do comedy.

Martin Lawrence is one of my comedic heroes, and he's a genius.

Reality is the scary thing. Not my work, not comedy.

I'm around my kids every day. I'm regular. We're a regular family. My wife cooks, she washes clothes, I read books, I pump my own gas, I get my own hair cut.

Life smacks Tracy Morgan in the face, and I don't mean to talk in third party, but no, it doesn't stop raining when I come outside, no, absolutely not. I'm very in touch.

I deal with my sons like young men. If they have a problem with something, they come to me. I am the type of dad that will drop everything I am doing for them, and always tell them to talk to me about it.

I don't need no stool and mike stand. I don't need all of that to be funny. I've been funny my whole life. This is a gift God gave me. I spread love wherever I'm at. I'm like Marvin Gaye.

People bring camera phones into comedy shows and clubs and concerts, and sound bites never come out right.

To me, politics is a pile of tricks.

You can't hold me to the same standard as the president or a school teacher. I'm just a comedian. My job is like Archie Bunker.

I don't even deal with politics. I just don't believe in them. I think politics are politricks. My whole thing is power to the people. I don't put my faith in any one man. I keep my faith in God. That's where I keep my faith.

I do stand up sometimes out of anger. Sometimes the greatest stuff comes from a dark place.

Stand-up is the foundation to my career. It's what I started out doing.